FERT

My problems got so much on me, and then I thought of ending it. However, I decided to visit a White garment church before bidding the world farewell. At the entrance of the church, I was asked to put off my shoe for I was at a holy place. And I did. After my consultation with the priest, and on my getting to the entrance gate of the temple, I found my shoe missing at the holy ground. So a holy voice said unto me; "you've got no problem really; after all your shoe is expensive enough to be stolen. And then I went home and live happily ever after. © FERT, 2016

You came to me complaining about you being pregnant.  You told me that you're not ready to be an active mother, even when you're now sexually active. You wanted an abortion. And as a good man that I am, I volunteered to follow you to an expert at D&C even when I'm not responsible for the pregnancy. It was successful.  You, the Doctor and I were happy about it. I took my niceness to another level by getting you beverages. You thanked me.  I called you every morning to know how you were doing. 'Fine', you replied. Then you complained. Though you acknowledge my kindness, yet you wished that I added something to it. You wished that I'm god fearing! So I asked if you're actually god fearing. 'Yes.' That was what you said. Now I fear you more than the god! © FERT, 2016

11:55am Monday Morning. I entered a banking hall. Filled to the capacity, and the banking hall air conditioners, gave way for oozing body odours emanating from customers that have stood enough to win special prize for standing. Bank officials appeared helpless, they complained about lost of network signal. One woman, a pregnant woman sat on the only seat that's made available for customers.  Then from the entrance to the banking hall I heard: "Good morning sir, welcome to ABC Bank." It sounded like that shout that one do hear from the prayer warriors of these special vigils. And then the atmosphere changed, every tired customer brimmed with excitement, two of the bank officials rushed to greet the arrival of the important guest. Both customers and the bank staff were happy, we were happy to have an "Oyinbo" (White man) in our midst. A young, slim but well endowed with big hips, ebony black, tall, beautiful lady volunteered to fan "Oyinbo,...