FERT

Humans of Lagos "She sat in a corner like a queen on the throne watching her subjects. She exuded so much confidence, commanding her mother's domestic workers while they revered greatly this less than ten year old human.  I saw this happen at her mother's shop where I was buying beverages. I assumed that her overbearing attitude would be curtailed had her mother been present. But I was wrong! Her mother entered as I continued with my shopping. She went straight to her daughter, and on her knees apologizing for keeping her waiting for long. Seeing a mother kneeling for her child is a strange thing in my society, but modernization is a good thing, I thought.  The kid wasn't pleased with her mom's apology. She ranted and scolded her like a superior would a subordinate. I was terrified. The kid then ordered her mom not to collect any payment for the goods I was buying. And her mother agreed. I was surprised but happy for free stuff. Out of curiosity, I asked the...

Humans of Lagos "Let me talk to you in parables. You know when you made up your mind that you were never going to allow something happen in spite playing around it? Think of dining with the devil without ingesting poisons. Many times you've played and won but one day, it happened, you lost! The game won you over! But instead of being beclouded with sorrow over the outcome, you actually was thrilled at the prospect of what's before you. You embraced the gift and let it mature. Then, after maturation, and the coming alive, you loved what has come forth. You promised to nurture it with all that you've got. You bonded and looked unto the horizon for what the future held. Suddenly, devastation struck. The gift evaporated without a goodbye. You were overwhelmed with immense sadness. Isn't it funny how we're taken by the things which we initially didn't want, but became inconsolable at their departure? Life happens. Adieu my supernova. Burn brig...

Humans of Lagos "My terrifying experience. It happened during my examination period. I was awake all night for the exam, which I later failed by the way. Anyways, after the exam, I went to a neighbor's room to eat when tiredness overcame me and I slept there. They said I was snoring so loudly that they carried me to my room so they could have some hearing peace. I didn't wake up the whole trip. It was about 3 hours later when I woke up wondering how I got to my room. ©️ FERT, 2020

Humans of Lagos "My family had a harrowing experience when my mother died with a fetus she carried and had to be buried by my father and older siblings. But my father's ministry swiftly ordered him to remarry because no worker of theirs can stay unmarried. This is how we lost our father to the new wife who was protective of her house, her husband and her children. She put a firm hand on things. The relationship with my father was strained futher when he asked I acquire a vocational skill since I failed my secondary school entrance examination twice. He never asked me what I wanted with my life. I was sent to learn plumbing, and with my savings, I attempted the entrance examination once again and passed. And since then, I have never stopped at acquiring degrees upon degrees. But the resentment I had towards my father was ever stronger for forcing me into vocational school instead of encouraging me to pursue formal education. I dissociated myself from my father, and...

Humans of Lagos "Amarachi my neighbour relocated to the faraway distance Australia. Few months later, she processed the papers for her cat to join her. It was costly but her cat is her family. Now, they are happily ever after. At my end, my boyfriend managed to leave Lagos for Pretoria. But he never processed my visit. He had since abandoned me for the curvaceous Southern African women. It has been 6 years, yet his excuse was that things are not easy in the yonder. May it not be easy for him forever." ©️ FERT, 2020

Humans of Lagos "My sister was telling me how rehearsing before making her presentation help her make an excellent delivery. This took me down the memory lane of colossal failure. It was my in University days in Statistics module. I attended all lectures, and participated in all tutorials but never revised on my own. I memorized all the formulas, got myself a good electronic calculator in preparation. All but revising and practising how to apply those formulas. When I got the exam paper, confusion overwhelmed me because I had no idea how to tackle the questions. I got things muddled up. It's a straight F. We not only practice because we need to be better at things, but to do a reality check on how well we think we know things." ©️ FERT, 2019

Humans of Lagos "Not all secrets are evil. Let me share a story with you. It is my friend's dad. I didn't know that the son we all used to think was his first child wasn't. His wife was formerly married but the husband asked her to leave. Then she relocated to Lagos with the baby and began working as a domestic servant for a rich employer when my friend's dad met her. He fell in love with her and her son, and in no time, they got married. He raised the son up like his, and never went about telling people that he was not the father of the child. It wasn't until my friend's brother turned 52 and at the dad's funeral that he got to know about the secret pertaining to his true identity. When we are about to lose faith in humanity, we should remember that there are some that live for the love of humanity." ©️ FERT, 2020

Humans of Lagos "He was a holy Christian when I met him. At least, so he proclaimed. I became religious because I got inspired by his transformation from what he confessed of his past deeds. We did pray together. We shared the scriptures and listened to trendy religious songs to stay holy. But that never deemed my sensual fires. He became livid the day he discovered that I was having a sexual relationship with his housemate. At first, I thought that he was disappointed in me, but when he explained himself; he was only angry cos I was doing it with his housemate, what he'd always wanted to have with me. I liked him, he's cute and handsome, so we had it. He's not so fantastic, but I managed him. I showed him some erotica films on my phone, to get better in the art of loving making. He was surprised to know that from the same device that I played religious songs came the carnal images! Days later, he started telling his friends I was a hypocrite. But, isn't ...

Humans of Lagos "I remember the time when social media and smart phones were yet to penetrate the country. I mean those days when your friends could only call you to make live commentaries of games that you missed. Short Message Service (SMS) was the order of the day. It's during that period that I got an SMS alert that I've won in one of a leading companies promo. I was very happy, though I couldn't remember entering for any promo. The message instructed me to call a number. So when I called the contact, the receiver mentioning my name confirming to me that I've indeed won a huge sum of money. My prayers were answered, I couldn't hold my joy. I was instructed to send airtime recharge voucher to another number to confirm my willingness to claim my prize. I spent over 30, 000 Naira buying and sending recharge cards to them, they kept on redirecting me and was just following with hope. I was warned against telling people about my win so that envious p...

Humans of Lagos "That two shall become one is the biggest scam ever invented. Two may come together to form something else, and or, they may be like parallel lines that will never meet. My father was a Physician while my mum is a Preceptor. Mother tried all she could to help father's addiction to alcohol and smoking, but her efforts were not enough. My dad would drink like his liver and kidney were invincible. Mother begged him to compromise so that he could be healthy, stay alive for her and the children; but my dad turned deaf ears. Sooner, he developed health issues as a result of his addictions. His colleagues warned him to quit his addiction. Yet, he didn't listen. He died cos of what he loved. If he'd loved his children, he would sacrificed his addiction. If he'd became one with his wife, he wouldn't struggle with addiction. How we came to life may never matter, the doctrines handed to us by our guidance may not last with us. The truth is,...

Humans of Lagos "There's something that pisses me off easily, the innate human nature to lie. For goodness sake; I lie, but why should people lie to me too? I'm like the police force who doesn't trust but want to be trusted! I hate competition. © FERT, 2019"

Humans of Lagos "My boss being a politician is good with words. He's well known and the masses revere him for his oratory skill. Though we think of him as 'all talk but no action', this opinion of ours do not count in the eyes of the multitude that have sort of canonized him. Most times, he is the opposite of every speech he delivers to the public. One day, he promised free medical check-up for a community, just to boost his political presence. He made us, his staff, the health care deliverers. Though he had not enough medical materials to aid this task, we had no choice but to go. On site, we knew we would not be able to cater to everyone that showed up. Nonetheless, we started our job, attended to the few that we were able to serve, and announced to the rest that we were out of supplies. Suddenly, we were mobbed. They chanted that we diverted their philanthropist aid for our personal use. We were called thieves and saboteurs. Some of my colleagues were ...

Humans of Lagos "I've shared many ideas which have been stolen by my friends. All I got was, "you're a genius." I felt proud to be called a genius. Then I decided to take things further by working on an idea till fruition. That's when I knew that idea is just an idea. Anybody can create an idea, but not everyone can take it further. Water has always been able to generate electricity since the beginning of time, but remained untapped for millienniums until harnessed. The rigour of making an idea come to life is not an easy task. My imagination could not birth its concept. I fainted, and quit. Now I accept the fact that every "well said" is to be followed with "well done". When the job is done. I wish my ideas can fetch me fortunes, I don't think I'm cut out for anything beyond idea creation. © FERT, 2019"

Humans of Lagos "I got an opportunity to leave the village for Lagos early in my life. I saw it as a road to the greener pasture. I left my friends, abandoned my parents, and I broke up with my girlfriend. I thought Lagos was a land flowing with milk and honey. Literally. The man that brought me to Lagos never told me the reality of the land. He only assured me that "Lagos is a land of opportunity." I was not prepared for any opportunity, but I believed that an opportunity would find me. Sixteen years later, my life is as stagnant as a lake. When my parents died a few months ago, I visited the village and I became overwhelmed with sadness upon my arrival. My friends have progressed in their local endeavours, my ex-girlfriend is now a married woman who could hardly remember me or our dramatic breakup. I might not have existed. Imagine. I reside in the "mega city" but my success is mega shallow while the place I left behind thrives. I wish I ca...

Humans of Lagos "I thought I was addicted to phone screens, I could never have imagined that I can live with having a restricted access to the virtual world. My Cell phone developed a software malfunctioning; while I totally forgot that the phone still carried a warranty, I took it to a roadside repairer to be fixed. The quack compounded it's problem by installing the wrong Operating System thereby killing the phone. When I eventually took the phone to the manufacturing company, I was asked to bring more than 80% of the initial cost of the phone. I had forfeited the warranty when I took it to an unauthorized repairer. I decided not to worry myself about being phoneless. At first, it was a hard ball, but I later adapted. I get to check my mails on my laptop, and ignored the social media. I felt an unexpected flood of freedom. So many of our pursuits are illusional. Like many of our wants and needs- if not all. We are thinking beings that can either create pains or p...

Humans of Lagos "I'd postulated so many theories on how I should be successful. I'd fashioned several ideas towards my path to being rich. My simple definition of being successful is to be wealthy. Don't blame me, I grew up in a society that value material wealth over all else. I'd planned to be a philanthropist, helping my deemed poor friends that appeared to be happy despite their pauper state. Yet, my struggles to attain financial greatness has left me seeking financial help at the moment from the ones I planned to assist once I am wealthy. It is their token to my breakthrough. But then, I now realise, not all plans will come through, not everyone will be rich; I'm teaching myself to understand that I may not be affluent as I want. However, I should learn to create my happiness from within like friends." © FERT, 2019

Humans of Lagos "My dynamite ex-husband used to vent his anger on me by pouncing on me like a wrestler finishing his opponent. I think beating me up massaged his ego. He's always happy to hear mediators knock on our doors begging him to stop. "A man must be above his wife in all things." He would boast. During one of the "happy moments" in the marriage, I told him that I only allowed him to beat me so that he could feel good about himself. He didn't believe me. Considering my smallish stature compared to his holiness, he'd likened my utterance to a drunk Zebra challenging a hungry Lion. He tried turning every argument into a fight, but still, I allowed him to win. After the fight, he'd mockingly remind me of the statement I made about beating him. On this particular day, I was ready for him. As usual, he launched the assault. I dodged his fist that was coming for my jaw, and then quickly landed an uppercut into his armpit thereby disl...

Humans of Lagos "I woke up with excruciating pain, so tormenting I screamed out of my sleep. My wife was so worried seeing me writhe in untold pain emanating from my ring finger. We checked it, and saw that the finger was a little swollen above the rest of my fingers. The pain was killing, my wife likened it to the pain some women experience during their menstruation period. I once read via Google about Herpes Whitlow; a painful viral infection on the skin. So I concluded that I'd Herpes Whitlow.  As a virus infection that would leave after completing its cycle, I was ready to bear its pain while it lasted. My wife advised that I kept applying dry heat on the finger. I did. During my office hours, my colleagues couldn't but notice the agonizing pain I was undergoing. It was during this agonizing experience that I realized the moment you feel any part of your body, there must be a corresponding malfunctioning on that part - my finger was in such a state alerting...

Humans of Lagos "I've worked as Hotel Manager, a Customer Care Agent, a Teller at a bank, and now training people how to export goods. It's so funny that I'm a graduate, but I've never practiced that which I studied at the University. I'm a graduate of Geology, but there are not enough space for me to practice in my field. The best I can do is to continue my study till I have my PhD perhaps I'll be lucky enough to be a preceptor that will be teaching the younger generation in the course that they may never be able to find their feet in. Our government promotes science study loudly. In fact it's a prestige being a science student in your high school days, your colleagues at the university will look upon you with high regards if you're excelling well in your science studies. However, the Nigerian society doesn't have any space for scientist to explore. I wish I'd known it earlier." © FERT, 2019

Humans of Lagos I was married to a sociopath! Ever wondered how a woman would praise her husband so much that Angels Michael and Gabriel would be envious of the man? Then suddenly switch to be talking about the same guy in a bad light that Lucifer is now afraid of him? My ex-husband switched so well that the angel removing and re-adding his name in the book of life eventually permanently deleted his name. He's beyond redemption. I was doing lovey-dovey with death in human form. I suffered so much. But I'm glad to be out of it. I'm not perfect but it's not worth it dealing with the imperfections of another who's a risk to you. Our Processional hymn into the wedlock was heavenly, the Recessional hymn sounded more like a war that would forever separate us. Selah. I didn't die in the toxic relationship. Amen. I'll now live my life, appreciating myself always. © FERT, 2019