FERT

Humans of Lagos "OMG, the rats in this city are very unruly, they move around without fear or regards for humans.  Last week when I was making out with my ex-husband at a corner one night, three rats, right in front of us were engaging in threesome. I mean, I can't just imagine such audacity. Where I came from, rats hideaway from humans, they don't compete with us. This is indeed Lagos." © FERT, 2016

Humans of Lagos "This teaching; "blessed are the meek, and the peacemakers for theirs is the kingdom of heaven," is the teaching that raises obedient children as baits for this blame trading society. I was raised to adopt the teaching, so I became the trash bin for my fellow humans that are always happy to put the blame on others. "I am sorry," the sentence I was dogmatically trained to be uttering all the time was the sentence that made me internalise several junks that I ought to trash out. I say; "I'm sorry," all the time even when I'm right.  My adopted sister once counselled me about not saying it whenever I do no wrong. However, I couldn't change. I get sad when I'm right but I still say those lines to make others happy and avoid quarrel. Yet the other party still act as if I was actually right to be sorry. So one day, I changed. On a Friday evening, I entered into the front seat of a commercial bus. When I closed the passe...

First of all, as a matter of succinct Introduction, I AM MAN.  I am a man; the strength of his father, and the lord over his mother. The pride of the family. I am the heir apparent to a very great but confused kingdom.  I am a Man and I am a very superior being. I can marry many wives, and do as I want with them. My wife, I repeat, my wife cannot wear my crown. I am regal and powerful. Very powerful.  But one day, I became overly depressed that I committed suicide. I appeared at the seat of judgement, and the angel asked why I deleted myself from earthly existence.  "My pride, I'm the man. I reserved the right to sleep with as many women that I want to. I ought to be the one to gloat in my sexual escapades. but I met a lady, the shameless girl went about telling men and women about how poor I was on the bed. She bragged about how I nearly passed on to beyond when she was giving me a blow job just like Félix François Faure the French presiden...

You came confessing to me that you've got a spirit husband. You told me that the heavenly husband do discourage potential earthly suitors from staying on to love you. "He'll always appear to them in their dreams to dissuade and threaten them from keeping a relationship with me." You lamented. I implored you to calm down. I assured you that spirit husbands cannot interfere in earthly romance. So like the sacrificial lamb, I offered myself for a controlled experimental relationship; just to show that spirit husband ought not to influence earthly affair. Six hundred and sixty-six (666) times we made love. On the couch, quickies at the beach, in the trunk, in the wood, at the kitchen; awesome sex we had. Yet, I saw no spirit husband in the dream or anywhere else. Now with regret I announced that the experiment is over. After all, we've now established that spirit husband is just a strong and oppressive masturbation. I need to move on. However, you...

Humans of Lagos "My neighbour; a single mother of five from Togo sells food. All her children are in their various schools studying. She brought six young girls from Togo to be helping her food business. Most of these maids are younger than her children, yet none of them is in the school. They all are busy, busy working hard from dawn till dusk serving their mistress, my housemate. These maids often get maltreated, and I don't know the bright future that awaits them. However, my neighbour, the shrewd business woman do publicly flaunt her displeasure at gays adopting children. Her argument; "How can people who will not give birth be able to take care of other peoples children!" What an irony, but that's how it's done here. Our thinking, our judgement." © FERT, 2016

I was at the strip club hanging out with my friends, when we started talking about the religious leaders. My friends talked about clergymen excesses and love for vain things thereby derailing people from god. So a man got up in anger, he threw the bottle of his liquor on the ground and then said: "what moral justification have you to insult clergymen? Are you supposed to be at the strip club drinking liquor in the first instance? I'm a pastor of more than 50, 000 spectators sorry congregations, so stop abusing men of god. We are all sinners!" After his rants, we changed the topic to football. © FERT, 2016