FERT

Humans of Lagos "She said, 'even if I want to resist you, you're so good at kissing that I can't but want to have some more.' I took that as her consent, I pressed on, exploring her body. But months after, I still can't shake the regrets I feel about my action. She took me as a counsellor, someone she could trust and lean on for support. Her visitation ruin everything. In my head, I received a guest that I've always longed to kiss. Upon her visit, my hots for her got to head and I was determined to show her some sensual skill. "Can I kiss you?" I asked gently. She coyly muttered no. Perhaps, I read the situation wrong. I thought she wanted me but shy to voice it. We talked on, and on, until I remembered what a friend once told me. Then, I grabbed her urgently and planted eager kiss on her luscious lips. She responded pronto! So my friend was right, I surmised, you need to take some girls by surprise for you to have them. She enjoy t...

Humans of Lagos "She's 22, and I'm 39. She loves me, I think I love her back. However, she wants me to be affectionately romantic with her like I used to do with my ex. The one that left me when I needed her the most. I'm no longer cut out for those petty romances. I want a relationship that will be defined through the lens of my new worldview, which is to be practical as romance is dead. Now, that's the huge gap between us and not the age. Anyways, I asked her to move on, she'll never be able to understand. She felt that I used and dumped her. Yes, I deflowered her, but that's just life. Virginity is a myth anyways. She cannot see that I'm not healed from my past relationship, she doesn't know that though my ex is happily married with three kids, I'm still waiting for her to come back to me. This lovey dovey girl doesn't know that she's in love with a maniac." © FERT, 2017

Humans of Lagos "I witnessed an unexpected drama between a soldier and a police. I was inside a commercial bus heading to Agbado when a soldier and a police officer began fighting in the vehicle over the right not to pay the transport fare. SOLDIER: I just return from Boko Haram battleground, I go beat you die. You no no me. POLICEMAN: You no dey look face. Na me arrest Evans the kidnapper. I go teach you a hard lesson. SOLDIER: Make the driver park somewhere make we do little boxing. I go destroy your head. POLICE: You no fit! On and on they went. I had to intervene because this Superiority of abuse drama is becoming a circus. I said, 'Oga sirs, no fight biko. I know say na the love for the country wey wan make you dey fight una sef. No allow make the devil come for your heads here, I go pay for all of una.' They disengaged from their altercation tsunami to give me cold stares.  It's so bad in this city that the public officers no longer fight for justi...

Story of two jolly friends. Once upon a time, two chickens moved together, ate together, and are fond of themselves. They were happy friends, that shared both their ups and downs. So it happened that one of the chickens was struck by sickness. She could not eat, hence she lost the energy to walk and work. All her friend's efforts at persuading her to eat proved abortive. It became obvious that the ailing chicken would not survive the sickness. Then the healthy one stopped eating in solidarity with her sick friend. In no time, she became sick herself. The chicken that was about to die opened her eyes to see her now sick friend. "Why did you build this sickness in your body?" she asked. "I cannot imagine living without you." She responded. The death-bound chicken told her not to give up on living because of her. "We were not born on the same day. No matter how much Eagle's mother loves her eaglets, they will someday separate. I appreciat...

Humans of Lagos "I traveled out of Lagos to execute a project with some other colleagues, but when they paid everyone my bank account detail was omitted; hence I got no pay. A friend assisted me by sending money to me, she was debited but I wasn't credited. This morning, I lost a huge amount of money which has officially rendered me bankrupt. Still, people are owing me, yet they all act as if they can't remember being indebted to me by paying me what they owe. But why are all these happening to me? A friend said that I needed prayers. But I know so many prayerful people whose conditions are worse off than mine. So I'm sitting here at Contemplation Park, thinking about how things went wrong. I reckoned that I might not have been actively asking for what belonged to me, as people may dodge paying until one is tenaciously asking to be paid. Also, maybe I'm too carefree, or my survival Instinct isn't rugged enough for these things. Introspectively, ...

Humans of Lagos "In this city, we have more religious centres than companies, hence, less job for millions of job seekers. Yet, I'm still baffled that these proliferate religious centres couldn't solve the inhumane treatments faced by most people in the city. For instance, in my street, a wealthy but childless religious couple that adopted a physically challenged girl to raise was doing the unthinkable. The wife encouraged her husband to be having sex with the girl so she could get pregnant for them. The wife did this because she would rather not compete with other women over her husband. A highly preferred option to a second wife in her opinion. They maltreated the innocent lady until her death. The siblings of the dead girl had a hand in this. They had given the girl away to the rich couple at the demise of their parents because they were embarrassed by her condition. She would droll as she talked and walked haphazardly. The church that all the parties att...

A bird that will like to fly high, must learn to fly alone. SERVICE! If my goal in life is to make all the money, then I can never be trustworthy, for I will be ready to do whatever it takes to get it. I am telling myself this, service should be my goal. What effect will my vision have on my immediate environment? Will it ever create any positive impact on the coming generation? Will I ever be able to solve any world problem? Money can't solve problem, it will only create the thirst to seek for more money anyhow, using any means. War is financially profitable but it does destroy humanity. Our hunger problem started when we started seeking for ways to make profit out of it, I won't blame GMO that much; they are only seeking for more profit. With the way I see drugs getting patented, I tend to forget that food is the real medicine. Service is a huge sacrifice, most times taking short cuts always cut things short. In this life that I will live just once, I will work har...

When all is LEFT, everything is right! Lefthandedness is one of nature's distribution which is still struggling to gain general acceptance in our world. Many people see it as a bad thing - sign of disrespect and evil, few overhype the phenomenon - viewing it as a good omen, while others are indifferent about it. It's during President Obama's tenure that Terrorist Osama Bin Laden was captured. These two great men were Lefthanders! The etymology of the word left is from the Anglo-Saxon word "lyft," and it means weak or broken. Even, the word sinister is derived from the Latin word "sinestra, " and it initially meant “left.” We all know the meaning of sinister. Oh this is unfair to the Southpaws. Dexter means right, hence the word “dexterity” shows a right-handed bias referring to being right completely. Majority of the world religions see the phenomenon as a negative thing. In fact, the term "left-handed honeymoon" actually connotes ...

Medical teams don't have the answers at times. They make worse paralysis cases with medication and unnecessary surgery. Just like in the faith arena, medicine is invented and oversees by human beings. Pentecostal churches in Nigeria have perfected the art of captialism. No doubt. Sickness can make the most reasonable person believe absurdity. Pain is not funny. There is no straight answers that to stop struggling. Many of us hardly know how to do that. Toyin Ajao

Love, Hatred, Fear, Anger, Jealousy and Bitterness are all part of a person's character that consist of feelings. You are permitted to express any of these emotions but know that feelings at times can be misleading. Hatred, Fear, Anger, Jealousy and Bitterness can kill anyone nursing it, through high blood pressure. In all things chose to love, stand for love, defend in love and please correct with love. Why allow Fear when it is not constant, Bury your Hatred for it affects the smiles, Jealousy may not be right after all, Anger do burn its carrier, Love makes the world go round. There is this story about a man who sent his servant on an errand to buy him some goods from another town with a huge sum of money. The journey was supposed to take two days but the servant won't return three days after, he was not even reachable on his cell phone. The park where he boarded the vehicle to the town could not ascertain what could have happened to him. This old...

Humans of Lagos "My agnostic friend from Venezuela requested that I assist her friend from Bolivia in getting to meet a popular Prophet in Lagos. My friend told me that her friend was involved in an auto-crash, which has rendered her immobile for over 12 years. Although, my friend doesn't believe in the idea of seeing a prophet for healing, but she only wanted to respect the wish of the woman in pain. I took up the humanitarian work. I picked the woman from the Muritala Muhammed Airport in Lagos, and then drove her down to an hotel close to the Prophet's Synagogue. She had just 4 days to see the bearded prophet. However, for these 4 days, the Prophet refused to see her. Maybe her faith wasn't strong enough to deserve his healing presence. She came in a high spirit, but returned last night with a shattered heart. I would have loved to take her to some tourist centres in the city, but she was so engrossed in her religious tourism to see the need. I am happy...

Humans of Lagos "A Few weeks back, a guy was making degrading comments about my phone. And I was very quick to attack him, I also bragged about how expensive my phone was. Days after the bragging, I was robbed of my pricey possessions at a gun point.  That night, all I wanted was that my life be spared.  I live! And I am grateful for that.   I really just need to move on.  It's like a Phoenix rebirth. The dance of death is to live and die again. And rise again. My friends want me to step up - "get a bigger and better phone." they say.  Hell no! Where can I find money to do a replacement not alone a bigger brand? I am very broke. So I asked myself, why should I replace my stolen phone with another expensive version of it? You know, when you are broke you get wiser.  Am I on Earth to impress while the thieves on the other hand, come again to rob me? No, this life is not a warfare.  Sometimes, we experience loss just to appreciate the ephemerality o...

Here's the story of two jolly friends, Làbàkẹ́ and Àbíkẹ́. They were interested in their own progress and worked together towards achieving it. Làbàkẹ́ was a farmer and Àbíkẹ́ a business merchant. There came one season when the earth was angry at the destructive activities of human being on the ecosystem. And the  land became hostile to the growth of Plants. Famine descended swiftly upon all animals and humans. Àbíkẹ́ decided to assist Làbàkẹ́'s plague and called her friend to her room. There she handed to her the magic box that her grandfather gave her years ago. This box had the ability to sustain plants growth without the need for soil nor water. And so it was that Làbàkẹ́ became wealthy because her crops started yielding bounteous harvest. Months passed by, and Àbíkẹ́ gave birth to a child of her own. But there's a problem: the child needed a magic necklace so as not to die young. The only person with this necklace was Làbàkẹ́ , and she gave her friend's c...

Humans of Lagos "I hate it when a culture tries to subsume other cultures. I get infuriated when people tries to force me to comporting myself to modernised eating norms. For goodness sake, morsel food is eaten with hands in my cultural heritage. My ancestors ate swallows with their hands. And they were never ashamed of it. I don't know who's trying to punish people like me by introducing cutlery to the eating of precious Ẹ̀bà, exciting Iyán and tantalizing Àmàlà. Struggling with a fork and a knife, exerting the little energy left in me to wrestle with meats and swallows is no cultural evolution. It's rather a gross degradation and violation of the ancient trademark. I mistakenly poured soup cooked in palm oil on my sparkling white dress in the name of modernity. This use of cutlery for swallows is not funny. We can't retrogress to another mental slavery. ©FERT, 2017

Humans of Lagos "I'm responsible for my woes. I cannot blame anybody but myself. Talent is a curse, I quite agree. However, I'm old enough to chose a path for myself. I hate to do anything. I'm good at procrastination. Morning by morning, I procrastinate my plans. At my age, I'm yet to suck the breast  of a damsel. I cannot drive a car, just because I procrastinated my driving lessons. I'm too desperate for success, however my procrastination grows at a geometric progression. Even at my uncomfortable zone, I comfortably indulge in procrastination. My laziness births my fear and my fear fuels the procrastination. I'm fed up. I don't think that I can ever change. It's better I end it than remain useless in this life. Unfortunately, I've been nursing the idea of committing suicide for the past seven years, but my procrastination will not let me die. Onward, I keep procrastinating the day I intend to end my life. I'm miserable like tha...

Humans of Lagos "One year away from the completion of my first degree, I started serious planning as to how I wanted my future to pan out. I figured out the city I'd love to settle in, the number of children I wanted and what I wanted in my future wife. Being a student entrepreneur, all I wanted was to be self-employed after my graduation. I'd wanted to take my farming activities to the next level - a greater level. I was lucky to  have found the girl I wished to spend the rest of my life with while in school. It felt like "made in heaven" love encounter. We both created names of our agreed three children. Aramide, Olamide and Olumide were the names. We were deeply in love, and anticipated a glorious wedlock. Months after my graduation, disaster struck. My farm washed off by flood, and my mind left me. I couldn't get my bearings right, my fiance stood by me for a while, but left when light failed to appeared at the end of my tunnel. I lost my zeal of...

ME: He lied! HER: What did he lie about? ME: He recently said that Senegalese Jollof Rice is better than Nigerians'. HER: It is. Senegal invented jollof from Wollof region. ME: Nigerians perfected the act of Jollof rice HER: Nigerians burnt the rice ME: Stop. Stop trying to bring down my country. Nigeria's Jollof Rice is the best. Richard Quest of CNN even confirmed it. HER: Nigerians hate the truth. ME: Don't rate any country's Jollof Rice above Nigerian's HER: I just did ME: That's an insult I'll not take. HER: Even people who cannot cook jollof are fighting ME: Who cannot cook Jollof? Please mention names. HER: 1. You. 2. The very boy I'm chatting with right now. ME: I'll deal with You. HER: Quit dealing. Cook jollof and proof yourself ME: I'm out of this discussion. I'm angry HER: Be angry © FERT, 2017

Chief Product Officer (CPO): USA is only 5 million subscribers away from India's 213 million Faceboot users. Brazil still have the largest black users sitting behind India with 123 million users. While in Africa, Egypt lead with 32 million users, as Western Sahara with 23 thousand users sit at the bottom of the list. Surprisingly, Nigeria with close to 200 million population only have 18 million users to fill the second spot on the Africa's list pushing Algeria to the third position... Chief Operating Officer (COO): (cuts in) talking about Nigeria, whenever I monitor the activity logs there...All I see is fight, and war. Chief Technology Officer (CTO): (Asian accent) I know right! Daily they renew fighting scenes. If they are not fighting the government, they'll be remembering the opposition. Supremacy war over unnecessary things. There's feminism war, religious/irreligious war is a never ending thing. I guess that Third World War may breakout from that country. ...

DAD: You cannot marry him. DAUGHTER: But why? DAD: He's an Atheist. DAUGHTER: He's human. DAD: He's not on the Lord's side. DAUGHTER: I love him. DAD: You are too young to understand love. DAUGHTER: He's good at love making. I love the way he looks at me.  The way he handles me with care and devotion, and his touch, oh his... DAD: (cuts in) Abomination plus fornication! So you're no longer a Virgin? That Atheist disvirgined you. DAUGHTER: No he's not the one that first touched me. DADDY: Whatever. I'm taking you to Apostle for deliverance. DAUGHTER: Well Dad, Apostle is the one that disvirgined me. DAD: (screams) What??? DAUGHTER: He licked me from my head to toe. He said my oranges are juicy. Licking me down there like an hungry servant devouring the crumbs on the king's plate. He was screaming "Jesus!" "Sweet delicious Jesus!" as his black and blessed rod with thick round tip found my ready wetness. He found my Gsp...

Rumbles in my Tummy,  Body systematically shutting down,  Demanding for sacrifice,  The sacrifice that'll only bring harmony and coordination. Yesterday's munching isn't  today's sacrifice.  Each day must have its feast.  Like the Pavlov's dog salivating at the hearing of the bell, my mouth waters in a great anticipation for what the gods are sending.  Food, the fuel that drives existence.  Without it, the powerful becomes powerless.  We eat to live, I don't live for food though.  Yet I'm always hungry. © FERT, 2017

Humans of Lagos "In my days of innocence, I did my work to make ends meet. I was a teacher at a private primary school. I tutored all sort of characters; the intelligent ones, the playful ones and the bullies among them. However, Kanu is my favorite student. Kanu physical growth was hampered. He is challenged, so as a result, he was ostracized at the school. The school proprietor wouldn't want Kanu to associate with other students, he's never happy seeing Kanu smile. Kanu's parents didn't help his situation, they only sent him to school to be ridded of him. Nobody seem to love Kanu, but he smile at everybody at all times. I love Kanu, but the entire teaching staff hated me for loving a 'disabled' child. There was a time when his parents refused to pay his school fees, then I instructed the school accountant to deduct his fees from my salary. I paid his school fees for four terms, I clothed and fed him during this period. I was happy doing this, but...

28years ago, a young hardworking father was angry, very angry at his beautiful wife, the mother of his 3 months old child. This woman will not take care of her baby, she was not a good nursing mother. The man reported his wife's action to her family. Her father scolded her for being a callous mother, Àṣàkẹ́ her mother begged her to change her ways. However, Àdùnní did not change her ways. One day, she left her home, abandoned her baby and husband. She lost her mind. What a pathetic situation. The Clergyman man pronounced her a Witch being punished by the God. Àdùnní Adé roamed the street in her ragged cloth like a stray dog that couldn't hear the whistle of its owner. She was out of her mind! No one showed pity to the woman that a supposed mouth piece of God had declared a Witch. In this town, it's a cultural belief that women who run mad are witches that got struck by the judgement of God. Àdùnní met with the wrath of the mob few months into her madness. She gra...

My name is Akinade Akinrogun. My ancestors were warriors in their days. I'm proud of my family. People believe that my lineage is under a curse, the curse of not living long. As warriors in battles, surely, my ancestors had so many bloodshed. My great grandfather died on top of one of his wives during a sex romp. Rumor had it that the wife was a spirit from the sea that manifested as human on a mission to kill my great grandfather. My grandfather, slumped and died one afternoon in his farm. His death was a big blow to the entire village. "How could a whole Balógun die like a chicken." The king of our village wondered. My grandfather was buried outskirts of the village for his death was of shame. Today, it's exactly 4 years, 6 months and 22 days that my father left the world. Professor Akinwunmi Akinrogun collapsed and died at his birthday celebration. He was 50 years old. Our religious leader told us that the sin of his fathers was visited upon him. Perhap...

Humans of Lagos "In my ghetto, a poor 17 years old girl got impregnated. This girl's parents struggle to provide the basic needs of their household. The guy that impregnated her refused to accept responsibility, thus the girl was left all alone to suffer the consequence of the intercourse. I counseled that she aborted the foetus; because she's not emotionally, mentally, and financially ready to be a mother. Alas, I was called a murderer. Her father even talked about a church prophesy warning her against abortion. Her coming child would be a savior for them he ranted. This lady couldn't registered for a proper antenatal care, she starved while pregnant. And on the day of delivery, she had little power to push her baby out, the baby suffered exhaustion and died at birth. She had gone to a cheap maternity Centre with no modern day medical infrastructures. This girl is now devastated as a result of her traumatic childbirth experience. Her parents are just as ...

So this useless coworker, entered the office this afternoon. He brought with him chocolates plenty enough to go round everybody, but he, instead shared it only among the ladies in the office. My mouth watered in vanity for the chocolate I saw with my eyes, smelled with my big flat nose. My salivary gland secreted more saliva in anticipation to devour the food, My enzymes rose to action to help digest the chocolate, alas, he dashed my hope. I so much hate him right now, he cannot but die someday. A disgrace to the men folk. ©FERT, 2017

Humans of Lagos "I assume a lot, and most times I'm always wrong with my assumptions. You shouldn't have met me here for an interview, I am here because I lost my job. And the world is crashing down on me. I initially assumed that you were sent from my former work place to give me the news of my reinstatement. How wrong I was! I believed in patching things up, and I willingly accepted blames even for things I did not do in my former place of work. However, the management of the company fired me. I got sacked because I am found at the scene of blameable situations. The new guy that took over my job made them realized that I was innocent but it's like it no longer matter. I lost out. Assumption is a killer." © FERT, 2017

Humans of Lagos "You are a male, above the age of 35, not married, not financially stable. You know there's a big problem, a very big one when you made love to a girl and you are scared that she _might_ be pregnant. You are scared of the responsibilities this may birth, and it dawns on you that you are incapable of meeting this responsibility should it arise. This is my neurotic apprehension." © FERT, 2017

As a prophet, while praying for you last night, I received a revelation about you. I saw a big light, whiter than the snow, and then saw angels descending and ascending. Then I heard a voice that sounded like that of a roaring Lion, it echoed like a trumpet blew from  an empty hall. I knelt for I was terrified at the sound of what I heard, and the whiteness of the light took away my breathe. So a man, whose face appears as of a baby touched my shoulder with his tender palm. He smiled at me, "Fear not." He said unto me. Then he told me about you that you are still using last year toothbrush in this year 2017. Is it a lie? © FERT, 2017