FERT

Humans of Lagos I've observed this trend, a child will do better if she/he follow in the footstep of his/her parents. The son or daughter of a musician will do better, get recognition and sympathy for his fathers' sake; The child of a clergy will rise faster in the religious industry than other clergymen who are trying to break into the ministry fresh; The child of a prostitute will be more professional than novice venturing into the profession; The child of military official will get promoter quickly than others who don't have parental link. I am forever grateful for being the son of politicians. My father even at age 56years old is the national leader of the youth wing of his political party while my mother is still the women movement secretary of the political party at the national level. I'm gonna rule my people, I'm gonna move with the high and mighty, I'm gonna enjoy the National cake, I'm gonna be protected by the immunity clause. I'm g...

When my father died six years ago, his church came up with the deceased debt which I, the only surviving child must clear. It was not easy for a government salary earner like me to pay off for a debt I never incurred nor budgeted for. Of course I did, I paid off my father's tithe, levies, church development, missionary and thanksgiving debts. I spent huge amount of money for the funeral rites, friends and family came to eat at the party without compensating me financially. I was not too happy that I had to borrow money just to finance a funeral. I did spend money when my mother died too, last year. She owed the church, but nobody could ascertained if she owed her God. So this year, I vowed never to be a burden on my children. So I stopped going to church. And when I thought about my funeral rites, I made a smart switch of my religion from Christianity to Islam. I converted to Islam because the religion funeral programme is simple and fast. My children will no...

'I'm always a first timer at every church service I attend,  I love freebies so much that I rotate churches to attend every Sunday .'

Being a Clergyman, having extra-marital affairs is not allowed; yet I have five kids from two other women outside of my wedlock. My wife doesn't know, church counsel is not aware of this but my mother knows it all. My legally married wife after delivering four beautiful girls won't give me a male child-the pride of every family. Don't attack me, I'm educated, I am well aware about the XY, XX jargon. I need a male child, just as my mother will keep hammering it into my ears. She will say; "Bishop, don't let the name of your father get wiped off, try another woman." Her own fathers' name is wiped off I guess. I tried the first side-chic, she bore me twin girl. The second lady, whom I met as a virgin manufactured a triplet for me, all girls. Yes I didn't give up that fast, I tried the third lady who promised me a male child. She collected huge sum of money from me, I pampered her like the hen that lay golden eggs. And true to her wo...

Back in the village, I am a well respected herbalist. I could summon the Moon to shine in the afternoon and make the Sun to set in the morning. Feared by all, my customers were: warriors that want to win in their wrestling contests, Farmers who want bountiful harvest, Barren woman looking for the fruit of the womb, and then Politicians from the city. I do make more money from the visiting politicians in the city than all other customers of mine combined. So I decided to take my trade and relocate to Lagos city. Settling down in Lagos was facilitated by my customers in the city, and I have everything I needed to myself. The first time I was to prepare a charm; I needed seven eggs, and a White fowl which I bought from the Lagos market. The eggs were unusually bigger than what my village hens would drop and the white fowl was too dull but heavy. On breaking the eggs, I saw three yolks in each eggs instead of one yolk. The bones of the White fowl were not strong. I used i...

This event occurred in my High school days; During the after-school hours after a heavy downpour, my friends and I were walking home by the roadside; when a speeding car entered a pothole and splashed its mud on our white school uniforms. We ran after the car, and because the road is not too good; we caught up with the driver. We descended on him, I slapped him and my friend punched him like a tall boxer would land heavy punches on a shorter boxer who won't close up space on the tall height boxer. He apologized, he even gave us some amount of money to get new clothes; which we angrily collected from him. Sixteen years later. A university graduate, mature and, successful Karate champion me emerged with the time. I was driving along a school building when I accidentally entered a ditch. Before I could pull over to check the situation of my tire(tyre), four little high school rascals came to me giving me blows and flogging. Immediately I flashed back to my own school ...

"I love big things." I don't settle for less. Since my childhood days have I imbibed the culture of going for the biggest. I remember when my parent took my younger brother and I to a party, I demanded for a bigger food pack while others got the smaller ones. I don't date slimmer ladies, I go for the big ones. I have bigger cars, bigger house as well. I did penis enlargement twice when I saw friends with bigger ones. I work at a Zoological garden, and I attached myself to the biggest elephant in the garden. Now the elephant is dead, no tractor to dig its grave, no friends to support; it is only me that will dig this elephants' grave meanwhile cremation is not allowed here.