FERT

My problems got so much on me, and then I thought of ending it. However, I decided to visit a White garment church before bidding the world farewell. At the entrance of the church, I was asked to put off my shoe for I was at a holy place. And I did. After my consultation with the priest, and on my getting to the entrance gate of the temple, I found my shoe missing at the holy ground. So a holy voice said unto me; "you've got no problem really; after all your shoe is expensive enough to be stolen. And then I went home and live happily ever after. © FERT, 2016

You came to me complaining about you being pregnant.  You told me that you're not ready to be an active mother, even when you're now sexually active. You wanted an abortion. And as a good man that I am, I volunteered to follow you to an expert at D&C even when I'm not responsible for the pregnancy. It was successful.  You, the Doctor and I were happy about it. I took my niceness to another level by getting you beverages. You thanked me.  I called you every morning to know how you were doing. 'Fine', you replied. Then you complained. Though you acknowledge my kindness, yet you wished that I added something to it. You wished that I'm god fearing! So I asked if you're actually god fearing. 'Yes.' That was what you said. Now I fear you more than the god! © FERT, 2016

11:55am Monday Morning. I entered a banking hall. Filled to the capacity, and the banking hall air conditioners, gave way for oozing body odours emanating from customers that have stood enough to win special prize for standing. Bank officials appeared helpless, they complained about lost of network signal. One woman, a pregnant woman sat on the only seat that's made available for customers.  Then from the entrance to the banking hall I heard: "Good morning sir, welcome to ABC Bank." It sounded like that shout that one do hear from the prayer warriors of these special vigils. And then the atmosphere changed, every tired customer brimmed with excitement, two of the bank officials rushed to greet the arrival of the important guest. Both customers and the bank staff were happy, we were happy to have an "Oyinbo" (White man) in our midst. A young, slim but well endowed with big hips, ebony black, tall, beautiful lady volunteered to fan "Oyinbo,...

Lucas is asexual, he's never had sex in his entire 42 years of living. He's foolishly touring the world, without thinking of settling down to raise a family. He's financially able to marry 4 wives, yet the dumb guy will not just think about it. He's a disgrace to manhood, I mean, how can a child be given birth to, yyet will not think of procreating? I'm looking for willing people that we may go and lynch the fool. He's trying to disrupt nature's balance. Note: ASEXUALITY is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone. Low or absent in sexual activity. HOMOSEXUALITY is an enduring pattern of emotional, romantic and or sexual attraction to people of the same sex. HETEROSEXUALITY is a romantic or sexual attraction prson of the opposite sex or gender. © FERT, 2016

"These days inside the church, the way people lie there, satan is even surprised. Imagine a member of congregation testifying, he said; "...immediately the rain started, the holy spirit told me that there would be no electricity for six days. And it was so." Haba, are we not in Nigeria? Do I need holy spirit to foretell situations like this. I was very angry at the testifier that I threw the bottle of spirit in my pocket at him right on the pulpit. However, the ushers carried me out of the church, but removed the offering in my pocket before finally doing so. © FERT, 2016

Three Sundays ago, when the noise was too much for me to bear; I entered into one of the places where the noise was emanating from, a mosque. I joined them, I introduced myself as Michael who's willing to convert to Islam. And they were very happy with me. They gave me food. Two Sundays back, I entered another house with loud speakers - church. I introduced myself as Mikhail, and they were very happy to have converted a soul. They also gave me food. So last week Sunday, I discovered a cool spot. A nice strip club with enough entertainment. I enjoyed myself. So today, both members of the Church and Mosque are angry that I will not join them again. © FERT, 2016

Humans of Lagos "I lost it, and I lost the reason to live. Suicidal thoughts filled my heart like an inflated ballon. I cut myself away from everyone. And in my loneliness, depression became my strongest companion. So on a particular day, I dropped my suicide note on the table in my room. And then climbed up to one of the skyscrapers in my area on a mission to end it all. My heart pumped like the eruption of a molten magma, however, my mind was as strong as the igneous rock; no going back. From above, I looked below. I saw moving vehicles and people going about with their activities. I closed my eyes, then join the air like the saints obeying the end time rapture. Only that in this my own case, I was descending to be no more. Almost immediately after stepping off the height, regrets filled my soul. Why did I have to do this. What shame have I bring upon myself by doing this. What will become of my family. How will they cope with the everlasting shame, I've put them int...