FERT

Humans of Lagos "Back in those days at the college, I used to bedwet. Other students would make jest and mockery of me. And my parents, made me think that something was heinously wrong with me. I got punished time without number for something I did not do willingly. I was traumatised, depressed to the point of considering suicide. My bunk mate, who's a senior student then would pack all her dirty clothes for me to wash, as her way of admonishing me for bedwetting. This is in addition to the incessant beating from my parents like I was an unrepentant thief often caught in the act. It took a supportive and understanding friend of mine to see how normal a being I was. She never rebuked me and she assisted in easing my punishment by offering her help anywhere she could. Caregivers such as my teachers and my hostel coordinator stigmatised me also. They showed no understanding or support. I was by now too nervous and insecure to even see a way out of bedwetting. Adding sal...

Humans of Lagos SHINE YOUR EYE "I'm in this city to make money. I hate it when people wants to exploit me. The company I work for favours women a lot, but that's not my problem. Now these ladies that get higher pay for lesser work want me to be buying foods and snacks for them with my money. Of course, that cannot work. I'm not in Lagos just to count bridges and have nothing to show for my hard work. If it is about working hard with no riches; then my village would have been the best option. In my village, you get older quicker with incessant ploughing and farming with no wealth to show for it. Let these ladies call me a chauvinist, I'm not here for dulling. I promote equity even though they get paid more than me for same work that they are unforgivably lazy at. This is Lagos, if I don't wise up here, there's no other city than will activate my wisdom." © FERT, 2016

I'm dumping Atheism. I am going religion. See, I'm tired of strippers stopping me from touching their butts just because I have no God to fear. While my friends that profess God get down with them. It's not cool getting ostracised by the faithful who goes clubbing and drinking liquor to stupor. You'll not understand the pain of an atheist whose co-workers shared loots without extending to him because it is God's doing and marvellous in the eyes of His beloved. It can be very annoying when your fellow students chase you out of an examination malpractice intent just because they believe that you'll bring bad-luck upon their plans. I am flipping side to testify to the glory of the Lord that maketh all these possible. The gods are partial and favouritism of grace and forgiveness is their forte. So I am switching camp. Let there be light! © FERT, 2016

FICTION. A woman had an auto crash . She split into two from waist down as a result of heavy impact from the accident. She sustained internal bleeding and was on the verge of dying. Christian arrived the scene of the accident and wept. Christian told the woman to confess Christ as her Lord and personal saviour so that she could make heaven when she's dead. Muslim argued that this accident victim need to convert to Islam before she breathe her last. Muslim and Christian fought, this woman writhed in pain. She might die. So a team of medical professionals arrived the scene, carried the woman... Today, the woman is still available enjoying life, worrying less about after-life neither is she bothered about about her pre-life. Yet the Muslim and the Christian afterlife competition and fighting continues till date. © FERT, 2016

Humans of Lagos "On the night of her grandmother's funeral, she invited me to pass the night with her in the room. I remember how she was there for me when my girlfriend left me. She; Stayed with me, Consoled me, Kept my company, but refused to have sex with me. She didn't oblige to my ploy to satisfy my sexual longing at that moment. She friend-zoned me. So on the night of her departed Granny's funeral, I concluded that she's on heat and wanted to get laid. After all, we were both inebriated after too much drinking. I made up my mind to starve her, I wanted her to feel what I felt when I was horny in those days. I entered the room, laid on the bed stark naked. She emerged from bathroom wearing only her sexy nighty. I pitied her. We slept off. But around 1am, I felt cold from within. I had no choice but to cuddled her, and she responded. Yet I remained resolute to my decision. Few minutes later, I pouted near her lips and she kissed back. I wanted...

Human of Lagos "My paternal grandma accused her of infidelity, and pinned it as the cause of her ailment. The pastor came and entered her room. He said a little prayer and then pronounced her to be possessed with demons. My father, her husband of 16 years; who she severally forgave of adultery proudly boasted of his family guidance god catching up on his unfaithful wife. Omowunmi my dear mother became the talk of the street. My mother after giving birth to me 14 years ago decided to end childbearing. However, my father's relative prevailed upon her to produce a male child - the heir apparent. She didn't take them serious initially, but later agreed when the pressure mounted. Her pregnancy wasn't an easy one. And when she delivered my baby brother, she became sick. She started hallucinating and talking to the air. But our pastor assured us that all was well with her. And later, she started behaving strangely to her own baby. So one day, she killed my bro...

The coach convinced the team's supporters that Morgan Bahuri is the only striker that could help the football team to victory. Coach stated; "Bahuri can score a goal from the centre half, he uses both leg and he's very swift like El Nino, the ocean's natural phenomenon. He's simply unstoppable." The spectators paid extra gate fees just because they wanted to see Bahuri demolish his opponent. "Bahuri is the surest and a saviour." The supporters assured themselves. It's show time, Bahuri with his teammates entered the field of play gallantly like a mosquito that is attracted by Carbondioxide gas. And then the match began. The opponent appeared to have a solid defense, but with Bahuri, everybody expected humiliation. Few minutes into the play, Bahuri complained to the Referee that the opponent's defenders' muscles were rock solid. So the referee ordered that they should be substituted with measly defenders. Impossibility is nothing...