FERT

Humans of Lagos Life can be funny. There was a lady I had loved to date in my undergrad days. But she rejected my proposal because she deemed me too religious. We went our merry way. I met her again years after our university days and realised my heart still skipped at the sight of her. So I asked her out again. But there is another clause preventing her from saying yes. She has become very religious while I have left that world behind. She is now interested in a deeply religious person. Both ways, I lost her. Because her journey and mine are so apart, it seems. © FERT, 2019

The efficacy of juju. An unexplained phenomenon will remain a mysterious myth until its knowledge is gotten. Volcanic eruption was once considered supernatural, until knowledge came. People prayed for rain then, but with silver linen, rain can now be induced over an area (at a cost.) If a man believed to possess great charm was harmed, and the next place he could go to for healing is an orthodox hospital, then, something is amiss with the juju. Juju, is real or not, I'm yet to see a charm that can withstand Asteroid. Let's learn well. © FERT, 2019

Humans of Lagos I am minimalist. As a result, I want to make a difference in the World that perpetually indulges in wastage. But instead,I was considered a lazy man who would not strive beyond making ends meet. In my bid to make others see reasons, I set out to teach others how to only use what they need but hardly do people respond to my greetings. Thus, shutting down the chance to influence their materialism stances. I look poor to many and "the history of the poor is madness unto the world," reflects in their engagement with me. Regardless, I'll follow my path, live on as a simple as possible. And if life smiles at me; history will be made about the minimalist who shunned excessive acquisition of things hardly needed. I journey on. © FERT, 2019

Lawyers won't see heaven. Last week, I was inside the car of my lawyer friend, he was confidently driving on the wrong lane of the traffic. A traffic patrol officer caught up with us and then arrested us. So my friend asked him to allow us leave the lane so as not cause accident. The officer agreed, and we moved to the right lane waiting for the officer to cross over. "Yes, I am arresting you for driving on the wrong lane of the traffic." He stated. My friend flared up, "why are you trying to lie, do you know that I am a lawyer? Now tell me, what exactly my offence is. Am I on the wrong lane here?" I was as shocked as the bewildered police officer. © FERT, 2019

Humans of Lagos "My jobs went into extinction right before my eyes. I did apprenticeship of how to operate the Letterpress machine for 6 years. 2 years as a trained and practicing letterpress machine operator, advancement of the Desktop computer sent my professional tool into the world of oblivion. I humbled myself and learnt the use of desktop computer. I was quick to introduce my ingenious idea of typing, writing and printing songs lyrics, love poems and romantic messages for sales. I made quite a fortune, until another technological advancement knocked me out of business. Handy laptop computers meant that my potential customers now have my working tools at their beck and call. Internet then made obsolete my hardcopy productions. Everybody now have the needed information online. I'm tired. I'll only be eating and sleeping henceforth. I can't catch up with the unstoppable technological advances. Just as my jobs went into extinction, the human existen...

Humans of Lagos My wife died in my arms at an hospital in this city after a brief illness. She died few days after she was warned to abstain from her village, else she'll die. She never visited her village, but death knew her place in the city and then took life out of her. Her parents in the village insisted that I must coughed out huge sum to make provision for her funeral rites when returning her corpse to the village. Money that's enough to cater for our child's education till the university level. I made a decision, I buried her at a cemetery in the city. It cost me less, the remaining money can be used for our kid. I've been threatened by her family. They said I'll die within 3 days. It's 6 months already and unless I'm a human ghost... So, I'm going to the bank. I'll be making educational provision for my child. In case I die, funds will not stop him from furthering his education. Threat or no threat, I've never seen anyone wh...

I love to work late into the dead of the night, when all living things are deep asleep. When I snore; Chickens tremble, Sleeping babies awake, The foundation of the house I stay inside vibrates, Mosquitoes are confused and subdued, And the dust in my room does a whirlwind dance. I no longer feel cold in chilling weather conditions. Google informed me that the fat deposited in my organs have protected my irritability. I don't want to die. Yet I hate to exercise and I love food. © FERT, 2019