FERT

 "WHY YOU MUST BE WISE" An essay. Enjoy. So, this man, a Nigerian living in the USA guaranteeing to help my writing career explode brought his Nigerian girlfriend to me to write a website landing page for her business. Initially, he'd criticized me so much about my writing style, and contested that I couldn't excel in my chosen career. He advised that I'd started breeding dogs for sales. So, when he brought the lady, I thought of it that I should bill them moderately. But I was surprised when this man from Texas, USA told me that I'm to do the work probono, since it's one of the criteria he'd use in accessing my writing excellence to ascertain if I'm worth helping or not. Ah! Ìkúnlẹ̀ abiyamọ o! I'm to do a real-time landing page for free? Just because an atheist living in the USA is giving me a "lifeline"? So I humbly told the man that: "I don't work that way. My works are out there. I could have given you a website landing p...

 It was a few days after the Lockdown. Michael Olúwafẹ́mi AJÍṢAFẸ́ was among the few people that didn't die of starvation induced by the Lockdown. If not for Garri, I don't know if I'd have been alive to this day. Garri became sweeter than the Jollof Rice then. When my sugar finished, I couldn't just do away with Garri still.  Ah, e no go better for the Lockdown! My friend in the USA sent me some dollars via RIA. I was so happy cos the Benjamin notes meant that I'll be rich in thousands of Naira. So I trekked from my residence at Ladi-Lak, Bariga to Diya street at Ifako Gbagada. Having borrowed some amount of money from a retailer in my street, I branched at Home Affairs Supermarket to buy groceries; I needed to flush out the Garri that I'd over-consumed.  After all, I'd collect Dollars that Ganiyu would help me convert to Naira. After my shopping, I majestically headed to First Bank to process my Dollars.  At the bank's entrance, the security personnel ...

 Prayer for the Bettors! (Image sourced from GettyImage) OH Lord, the seer of things to come, the revealer of the mysteries;  at your feet, we humbly bow. Let the blood of the, Chickens, Turkeys, Rams, and many more animals slaughtered for the New Year festivities atone for our sins. We cancel every red in our tickets. Shift away from us, our many years of pains, and give unto them, the bookies. Let the bookies be sad at our wins, let them wail from our winnings.  Let our sure odds not give us hypertension. And our over 2.5 not faint at the junction of over 1.5! That our Yes to GG never gets cut short. Anoint our heads to predict scores correctly, and your flaming fire we plead to destroy every machination of the VAR. Many are our afflictions. We've been labeled lazy by most of our friends and family members. How long will it take you, Oh Lord to rise in our defense? We have not stake beyond that which can hurt us if we lose. Let the seeds of our stakes blossom like veget...

 Towards the end of the year 2019, I realized that aside from eating to enhance my living, I've not achieved what society expected from my age and gender. I began to get worried. I hustled as much as I could but the year won't just yield. So I sat back, after all, I cannot kill myself by myself. I bought a big notebook and started making resolutions for the year 2020. I was energized to compete and be richer than Jeff Bezos. I wanted to be more trending than Elon Musk. And I swiveled into 2020. Yes, it's like I would blow. - my breakthrough seems to be attached to the year. In January I made some amount of money. Though it couldn't afford to take me on holiday in the Caribbean, but was enough to cover my transportation bill to visit my father's grave in the village with modest feeding. The hope was high! In my thoughts; just as a thin line separates dying from living, only a break will move me through my poverty into huge riches. Then COVID-19, from being an outbrea...

See, A very long time ago, all animals were united and lived harmoniously, then came a snitch - Rat ! Since then, whenever and wherever a rat is smelled , other animals do attack. If you're in any doubt, ask the wild felines or the serpents.  If we fail to rat on  this rodent invasion, they'll thrive so fast like a rat up a drainpipe . I am sure you won't like it if we look like a drowned rat  under this incursion by the rats if not checked. After all, it's all a rat race , just that here, the race of rats will be cleansed. And after then, we will relax and enjoy ourselves. Thank you. FERT, 2020 

Someday, my strength will become vulnerable, and my voice will fail me.  My body will be heavier than my deftness. I'll only be able to reminiscent of my youthful prowess in my feebleness. I want to be forever young, but I can't stop the progress of time.Someday, I'll die, cos I've lived after I was born. To those that are dead, fare thee well. To those who are about to die, salutation. My passing, NOT today. ©️ FERT, 2020

Humans of Lagos "She sat in a corner like a queen on the throne watching her subjects. She exuded so much confidence, commanding her mother's domestic workers while they revered greatly this less than ten year old human.  I saw this happen at her mother's shop where I was buying beverages. I assumed that her overbearing attitude would be curtailed had her mother been present. But I was wrong! Her mother entered as I continued with my shopping. She went straight to her daughter, and on her knees apologizing for keeping her waiting for long. Seeing a mother kneeling for her child is a strange thing in my society, but modernization is a good thing, I thought.  The kid wasn't pleased with her mom's apology. She ranted and scolded her like a superior would a subordinate. I was terrified. The kid then ordered her mom not to collect any payment for the goods I was buying. And her mother agreed. I was surprised but happy for free stuff. Out of curiosity, I asked the...