FERT

My name is Michael Adetumobi and deep inside,  I don't feel male. Unlike Bruce Caitlyn, I don't feel female either.  From a young age I've known what I really am on the inside.  I'm going under the blade tomorrow to implant soft white wool around my body, a ruminant digestive system, a voice implant that would allow me to bleat, and yeah, larger eyes.  By  Joe Aito   Guest Writer

Everyday after finishing my lunch, I always leave my house for her own house. I will stay with her, help her with her house-chores, and also do our school assignments together. Her siblings would play with me, her mother love me greatly like her own son. Truth is, I real love her; but I wasn't man enough to express myself to her. As a teenager, I love her just the way my daddy loves mummy. She's this tall girl, while I am just as short like the indigenous  cock. She would carry me high up with her hands, in the presence of my school mates. I always love those plays, my school mates did think that we were dating. She gained admission to the university, while I went to the technical college; and gradually separation started creeping in. Whenever I am away from school on holiday at home, I would visit her house and drop my pictures with her mummy to deliver for her whenever she's around. She would also drop her picture with her mummy for me to pick as well. My love for her ...

I should be the first unofficial Nigerian to trek from Delta state to the city of Lagos.  I left my village for Lagos city because it is a common believe that the city is a land flowing with milk, and money.  I left my land of birth with a high hope of making it.  Though I have no relation in Lagos, I planned to return to my village taking the wealth of Lagos to my wretched family and turn our story around for the good. I spent twenty-two days on my journey. And when I arrived Lagos, it was not anything near what I was made to believe.  I was duped by street urchins, my gentility was taken by most Lagosians for stupidity.  Living life became a hard thing for me. I could not return to my land of birth, loneliness became my companion and hunger stared into my tummy turning my body enzymes into chemicals destroying my organs while I am alive.  I remembered my three square meal, the image of my loving aged mother kept coming to me in e...

I don't believe in anything supernatural, but my society is always hostile to people like me.  As a matter of fact, atheists have higher intelligent quotient than the theists. I am an atheist but I've been duped four times by different religious clerics. Twice was I duped at the same spot on different days by different Islamic clerics. The first one collected money with the promise to by a glorious Koran, sugar and salt as tools to enhance prayer for me. The second one asked me to buy original horny sorry honey I meant to say, and lavender for prayer on my behalf. Both guys concocted fictions about my life, telling me about a great destiny of mine which I think amused me without questioning them nor reasoning deep about. I gave them cash to implement prayers for me, while I collect their mobile contact for follow up.  Now whenever I call their number later on, all I hear is a female genie speaking these lines right into my ears; "The number you are calling is no...

Right from my Junior Secondary School days, I lost interest in academics.  I saw many tertiary institution graduates in my street borrowing ties and shoes so that they could wear to their various endless job interviews.  I do see them trekking long distance all in a bid to reduce the transport expenses to such job interview venues like those ancient Africans embarking on holy pilgrimage to Mekkah and Medina in the present day Saudi Arabia. I never took my classes serious, I didn't bother to improve my spoken English language; as I believed in my Pidgin English as the most effective means of communication in the Lagos city.  My teachers were busy reiterating that "without studying hard, we won't become something great in the future."  How they lied, they were only repeating the normal rhetoric meant for students.  I tried taking my business studies a bit serious, but when I discovered that they talked to much about figures rather than mone...

I was at the BRT park under the shade where I hid myself away from the heavy downpour, when this ebony black, white-teeth, young, beautiful lady walked in.  She was drenched to the skin.  She shivered under the cold that the rain has blessed her with, but her enticing physique and natural endowment sent shivers down my own spine. I gazed at her in amazement for few minutes, and then walked up to her; "Am so sorry about this cold, but do you mind following me to the mall that you could get a new dress?" I said to her with a concerned expression written all over me. She looked directly into my eyes for seconds as if to search for any hidden intention of mine, before eventually giving an approving nod. I gave her my big umbrella, and off we walked under the rain to the nearest shopping mall.  We went into one of their boutique stores, so I watches on as she made her selection of clothes.  She changed her dress at a corner in the store, while I foot...

My loving husband is a politician, and all our children got wedded while we were serving an elective position. It was great fun having big occasions, receiving gifts without spending personal money to make such events successful. Contractors, politicians and multinationals do compete to drop gifts for my family. We got publicity without paying, attention came rolling in on my family and we loved it. Numerous times, I was privileged to host important personalities at our parties. I remember customising wines from France with my name boldly inscribed on its bottles. Living large became natural with me. My aged parents and the father of my husband all died while we were in government, and we painted the town red while celebrating their transition to what I believed will be glorious. Different musicians performed during their funerals, and these dead beings were buried in very expensive caskets with a golden tomb. We created employment for security guards watching over the tombs ...

I have never failed any academic examinations, no matter how difficult the course may appear; I always escape failing it.  My teachers do not like me, but I never cared.  They tried frustrating life out of me, but I'm like the cat with nine lives. Yes I hate studying, and don't ever participate in class interactions; am too dull to make meaningful contributions.  My lecturers are well aware of my academic laziness, but they couldn't just fathom how I manage to make success out of my examinations. I am gifted at cheating in exams halls; I was able to develop a giraffe's neck that could see to about 2.5metres radius right inside the examination hall, Eyes that are as sharp like the Eagle scouting for fishes in the ocean when it is high up in the sky, Nose that could perceive intelligent students wherever they are, better than Shark's nose smelling blood thousand of miles away, Meanwhile my hand write better with little co-ordination from my eyes. In more ...