Electricity

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"My name is Innocent.
I'm an Electricity generator repairer.
Last year, my business collapsed.
People mocked me, and I almost became a beggar.
They said 'President's Body Language' was responsible for my woes.
I was advised to return to my village, as I'll be forever useless with my profession.
So;
I went on my kneels as if to fellate,
Spread my hands into the air like a damsel whose breasts are being fondled by a drug baron,
Then screamed like a virgin who is unfortunate to meet a pornstar,
And then spoke in tongues like a climaxed babe.
I reminded God about his words: 'whatever I lay my hands upon must prosper.'

Today, I'm a happy man.
The Lord blessed me again.
I now travel around the country repairing electricity generators.
Even now that there's petrol scarcity, people with diesel powered electricity generator will not let me rest.

Those who mocked me are now worshipping me.
I disappoint customers with pride these days, yet they can't do anything.

And to my greatest surprise, I've been connected to be working on Elecricity Generators at the Aso Rock.
Indeed, the lord is good.

This is my testimony."

Let there be light...Naija.

Body Language...FAILED
ELECTRICITY GENERATOR...TAKING OVER.

© FERT, 2016

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