FERT

My late Grandpa, an addicted cigarette smoker died at age of 102. He told me that he started smoking when he was only 17! Meaning that he spent 85years of his life smoking, and emitting smoke like a powerful Yoruba God - Sango! Assuming that he smoked only 4 sticks of cigarettes daily (Which only remain an assumption for I know granddad so well). And it is said that every stick of cigarette smoked, shortens the life of the smoker by 4minutes. It means that, he ought to have lived 519 days longer! Poor Grandpa. My Dad, a Medical Doctor, Perfectionist, an obedient student of living well theories and husband to a Dietetics and Nutritionist died last year at the age of 75. He was never a smoker, not given to alcohol and abstained from sexual infidelity yet he died without reaching 102years of age like his father my own grandpa. Living a long and healthy life I think is just a gift. To those who are dead, I bid farewell; To those who are about to die, I salute; And to the livi...

MY TESTIMONY For eight days, the devil attacked me with Jedi-jedi (Pile or Haemorrhage). I could not stand upright, sleep peaceful nor be free with my body. I cried like a he-goat deserted by his mother. I used every medication I could lay my hands upon, I drank bitter Agbo (local concoction) with little sugar; yet I didn't get any better.  But since yesterday, I received my healing. I'm whole again. And I'm presently at a Beer-parlour drinking all the soft-drinks I can lay my hands on to celebrate my healing. I pray that my healing shall be permanent. © FERT, 2015

A Fight It was during the raining season, At a popular and busy junction. There was no shed around the junction area. Whenever it rain, These three guys get stranded under the downpour. The heavenly rope, Crystal clear in appearance, Odourless in smell, Mercilessly beat the men like sinners that is bound for heaven. One among them developed an idea, He gathered palm fronts and moulds. Like an architect he designed his building idea, Like an Engineer he surveyed the proposed building site. So as a builder, he built a small shed. So one day, It rained. The three guys ran to the shed. One among them boasted to be the owner of the land upon which the shed is situated, The second claimed that the palms were gotten from his farm, The third said he constructed the shed And in anger, they destroyed the shed. Now the rain didn't just beat and battered them; It flooded, And swept them away to a new environment they are alien to. Into the hands of Oppressors, So...

• Halimat is a Muslim, I am not but we've found reason to settle down in love damning the religious barrier. * I've witnessed the solemn matrimony between children of great and famous Clergymen crumbled only months into the union. • Adedayo is a Yoruba guy, I'm not; despite that, we are jointly building the company that will hopefully become a great employer of labour someday. * Family business do crumble, we've seen a company run down by employee that the owner recruited from his hometown. • Hannah is bisexual, am not but she was the only one that willingly donated her blood after my surgical operation. * Heard of a wife who abandoned her husband because she thought that his sickness was a communicable disease. • Webbs is a white man, I'm not, but he was the one who motivated me the most when I was duped by my own ethnic fellow. * A friend told me about the Black Human Resource Manager of his company that's owned by the Lebanese, he said this HR is al...

Prologue 1.) And so on the twentieth day in the sixth month of the year, in a little community inside of Nassarawa state in Nigeria; tragedy struck. 2.) Marauding herdsmen from the far North arrived at the farm estate of Lapai, a respected chief in the community. 3.) He was hacked to death, his wife defiled severally before they slit her throat, and the two hands of Bitrus his only child was chopped off before they made their cattle grazed on the chief's vast crop farm. Bitrus Friends Share His Pain 4.) When four of Bitrus's friends heard of the tragedy that had befallen him, they gathered together and traveled from their school to comfort and console him. 5.) Their names were; Ignatius the bald headed student of Philosophy, Tabitha the daughter of Bello the Ilorin man, Powe the repented militant, and Rahmon of Nembe. 6.) When they saw Bitrus without arms on the hospital bed from a distance, the could barely recognized him. They wailed loudly to show their gri...

On One of these Nigerian Facebook pages, a news claiming that fish rained from heaven in Thailand was posted; then Nigerians stated commenting... ISAAC: My God, Jehovah Jireh is awesome. AHMED: Allah is the Greatest! JUDITH: Only Jesus can do this. REBECCA: Jehovah is just too much, the world is coming to an end! MOHAMMED: Isaac or what do you call yourself, you must be crazy! And you Judith, you've been fooled. SAMSON: Terrorist Mohammed, just as your religion is of war you're here creating troubles. I will not trade words with you, but may the fire of God consume you and your religion of terrorism. BELLA: My fellow Country people, the news up here is false. The incident actually occurred in China not Thailand, and it was a truck carrying Catfish that had one of its door broken accidentally. Please take a careful look at the picture, and you'll see that the fish only littered the tarred road and not the bush. ABRAHAM IBRAHIM: Bella, after checking your information...

Call-In Programme on a radio station. People airing their opinions about a Nigerian state governor who is owing his workers eight months salary... FIRST CALLER: I am Mr. ADE from Allen Avenue, this matter is beyond human comprehension. We need to invite God into it. Thank you. MODERATOR: You mean we should ask God to come and pay the salary on behalf of the elected governor? Okay o. SECOND CALLER: Mrs. Smith is my name and I am calling from my house. The governor is trying, I don't know who is working this hard to destroy him. Let every Rich Nigerian pay on behalf of the executive governor. MODERATOR: Uhm...it is okay o! THIRD CALLER: My name is Mr. BECKERLY calling from number ten, lane six, Heritage estate in Lagos. That governor is a rogue, how can a responsible person be owing his/her workers? That's unfair, it is nothing but corruption, he should resign and cover his face in shame. Thank you. MODERATOR: Thank you Sir. FOURTH CALLER: Mr. Godwin from number nine...

BALA: You are very bias, you're intellectually dwarf. UCHE: You are a stupido, do I look like your mate? BALA: Truth is, if you should see me in reality, I bet it that you won't dare look into my eyes to say all these rubbish. SHINA: Facebook is a such a place where people claim to be one super-hero typing behind their browsing device screens. I can't understand how someone will be boasting about being stronger than another person he's yet to see physically. UCHE: I am here in Aba town anytime, I will kill you if you dare come here. BALA: I have Magnum, IED meaning Improvised Explosive Device. I reside in Kano...you know what I mean? SUSAN: Hello everyone, I'm am final year student in one of the federal universities in Nigeria. I need money to complete my studies. Here is my account detail:  Susan Godwin GTBank 0025686427. Remember that it is better to give than to receive. God bless you. SHINA: OMG! This crook is actually begging for money. S...

Humans of Lagos "I'm an undertaker. I've lifted the poor and the rich, young and old, male and female. I've interred those arrogantly rich people that I will never get close to while they were alive. I mean those people that are always escorted by fierce looking security personnel. Looking at the security wall they've built around themselves, one would think that death will never be able to reach. Alas, the die just as every other animal die. Understanding life will bring you either of these feelings; excitement, anger or indifference. Excitement, that will push you to always enjoy every bit of your moment while alive. Anger, because you've allowed many negativity settled in you. Indifference, because you are well aware of the fact that life is all vanity upon vanity. I cannot leave life alive. Life to me is a drama stage, where every one carry out his/her lines as a character and get cut short in death while the drama continues without him/...

Humans of Lagos In the days of my father as a Clergyman, there was unity. I remember vividly that in those days, we related well with the people of other religions. Some of our church members married from other religions and they were not chastised for their actions. When a member is sick, such a person become the responsibility of the church. Congregations in those days, were richer than their clergymen. And the love of heaven made everyone live a life of simplicity in humility. Now I'm a pastor, I've taken over from my late father. I'm a twenty-first century compliant man of god. I established my connections with the politicians; while the politicians rule the physical being of the masses, I direct the affairs of their spirituality. I have private universities that the children of my church members will never be able to attend due to its high fees. I'm richer than all my congregation, I'm so blessed that they now use me as a point of contact to ...

Humans of Lagos "I refused to let go!" I spent my childhood in the village, where basic social amenities is absent. I didn't enjoy my childhood days, but I'm grateful to providence that today I'm an achiever. Whenever I visit children toy shops, the managements are not always comfortable with my presence; but they'll collect their money. I'm forty-two, but I refused to let go of the childhood experience I missed. I still eat my cupcake like the children will do, I visit children game centres. It is my life, and I'll live it as I like.

Humans of Lagos "I don't know if I'm really cursed, I get fired at every job I get employed into. I'm a chauffeur, my first job was with a college. I got fired when four of the pupils there accidentally got pregnant for me. I got another employment with a church movement, I was assigned to its music department. I drove the church choir, but the church management fired me when enquiry set up indicted me for having sex with four of the members of the department. A politician hired my services, but sacked me then unlawfully sent me to prison just because I was having a sexual affair with his side-chic. At the prison centre, the boss there spilled me out when he got wind of my sexual escapades with her female staffs. A Muslim cleric that housed me for rehabilitation drove me out of his house because he caught me red-handed in his matrimonial bed sleeping with her youngest wife. Who's put this affliction on me? I'm tired. This that is happening to me is be...