My Reality. HoL 93
Humans of Lagos
"I'm sad.
I initially associated my unhappiness with my inability to make money, but then money came in - Through Ponzi schemes, real time hustle and with the spirit of not giving up. But my sadness has persisted in spite of my wealth.
I turned to sex. Dating and engaging in endless coitus with women of diverse races, yet my sadness was not alleviated. I just succeeded in getting STIs.
Then I thought smoking and drinking would fix my unhappiness. I began smoking so much with the illusion of building an atmosphere of joy. I take liquor to stupor with the hope of forgetting the sorrow that wrestles deep inside. I partied very hard to tap into the happiness I think I sensed in others or to drown the rage that is brewing in me for not feeling what I thought they feel. Still, I am hollow.
With my money, I can euthanized myself through several painless assisted suicide if I can convince the euthanasia institutions that I have a terminal disease. I should just end it all. I am submerged in this weighty sorrow and nothing eases my burden.
A friend like diamond, my enlightened Bibitayo reached out to tell me that I create my own reality,
and if I can see beyond my attachment to my ruminating thoughts, I will feel the true happiness which is just overshadowed by my dedication to sadness. She said I am the light and I should flick the switch of awareness to illuminate this gripping darkness.
I wish it is that easy for me to exude happiness instead of bitterness. Yes, some things bring sadness, but must I allow these things to define me?
We eat to live, and we often forget to live to eat.
I am still sad.
© FERT, 2016
"I'm sad.
I initially associated my unhappiness with my inability to make money, but then money came in - Through Ponzi schemes, real time hustle and with the spirit of not giving up. But my sadness has persisted in spite of my wealth.
I turned to sex. Dating and engaging in endless coitus with women of diverse races, yet my sadness was not alleviated. I just succeeded in getting STIs.
Then I thought smoking and drinking would fix my unhappiness. I began smoking so much with the illusion of building an atmosphere of joy. I take liquor to stupor with the hope of forgetting the sorrow that wrestles deep inside. I partied very hard to tap into the happiness I think I sensed in others or to drown the rage that is brewing in me for not feeling what I thought they feel. Still, I am hollow.
With my money, I can euthanized myself through several painless assisted suicide if I can convince the euthanasia institutions that I have a terminal disease. I should just end it all. I am submerged in this weighty sorrow and nothing eases my burden.
A friend like diamond, my enlightened Bibitayo reached out to tell me that I create my own reality,
I wish it is that easy for me to exude happiness instead of bitterness. Yes, some things bring sadness, but must I allow these things to define me?
We eat to live, and we often forget to live to eat.
I am still sad.
© FERT, 2016
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