FERT

Humans of Lagos "Today, I went to put fragranced flowers on my mother's grave. She died 5 years ago. She was my first unlettered feminist, my jewel of inestimable value. Shortly after my 18th birthday when we were living in the slum, a married man who lived three houses away from ours proposed extramarital affairs to me. As a young curious girl, I accepted. Though the man promised to make our affair a secret, he backtracked and bragged. His wife got a wind of it and made a move to remedy the situation. She came to my mother's house, berating me for having an affair with her husband. Surprisingly, my mother stood against her. She lashed at the woman for not dealing with her husband that made a promise he couldn't keep to her but coming for her daughter instead. Even though I was ashamed of myself, I realised my mother was radically wise. She addresses the other woman fiercely but objectively. Though people in our vicinity felt awkward about her decisi...

Humans of Lagos "10 out of my 12 girlfriends gave the reports that their spiritual merchandise or consultants told them that I will be their suitable husband. Their various soothsayers comforted them that their wedlock with me would blossom. Each thinking she is the only one. I wonder why their prophets didn't see that. I know none of them subscribe to polygamy or polyamory for I'd love to marry them all, making the words of their seers come true." © FERT, 2018

Humans of Lagos "When my father died, my mother was evicted from her matrimonial house by her in laws. They alleged that she had hands in her husband's death, hence, she's not eligible to stay on on the properties. They forced my sister and I out of the house as well, leaving our mother to raise us all by herself. She felt it, deeply, the inequality that was meted out on her because she's a woman. She told us that she couldn't fight for her right because she was raised to see herself as a "weaker sex", there at the whim of the male. So while raising us, she changed the established dogma. Raising me soft and my sister strong. My sister was the bully and I the coward." I grew up becoming too soft to fit into the patriarchal structure designed for men as a result. I'm all alone now. My mother instituted a Cobra Effect, starting another problem with the one intended to end the existing one. © FERT, 2018

Humans of Lagos "So my neighbor's son, a medical student believes that he passed his exams using a talisman made for him by a local magician. I'm lost. I can't wrap my head around what education means to us in this city. Little wonder we believe that it's only God that can select a leader for us, even when billion is spent on elections by the politicians. Our society now hangs its fate in the hands of the invisible and ineffective myth, and accept bad things that happen as fate, while the leaders plunder us. © FERT, 2018

Humans of Lagos "I began procreating before I was emotionally ready. In fact, before I know what self-discovery was about. I was forced into a marriage that I was never ready for. My father said to his friends: "get him a wife and he'll become responsible." They got me a pretty woman with unresolved traumas. Our conjoined dysfunctionality multiplied in no time and we became a ticking grenade of disasters. Parents from both sides waded into our marital affairs creating more conflicts. They wanted kids and more kids. Our lives have never been the same. In hindsight, I don't think I was meant to marry, I don't think I am cut out for fatherhood. In a nutshell, I don't like my wife, and I don't feel any form of attachment to my children. I want to walk away from it all and never look back. Before I even know me, I have brought forth five more lives to complicate things. © FERT, 2018

Humans of Lagos "That woman with her 30 something years old son entered the bus without having enough money for the transport. She pleaded with the conductor to let her lap the "lad", and the man agreed. She entered the bus, changed the agreement he made with the conductor by whispering she would not pay the total fare agreed upon. She was frantically rummaging to string together what she could pay. I decided to offer my assistance. I paid up the fare. To my shock, instead of her appreciating me: she simply said: "God is good you know." She tried familiarizing with me on religious ground. She never said a thank you. I refused to be offended by her act, I only concluded that she's a brainwashed person." © FERT, 2018

Humans of Lagos "'Men don't cry,' the clause that creates a dysfunctional society. "Be a man!' lures men into a state of emotionless disconfiguration and they act as if defective. So, these sentences make men think that they can cheat because they believe in having sex without emotional attachment.  Well, I've seen girls have sex without any indication of emotional attachment too. Men don't cry, so they: Become hardened, and heartless, dying slowly on the inside to later explode disastrously someday on the outside. This is what breed unnecessary violence. I met a lady, she couldn't take me for who I am, she said to my friends: 'He's not acting like a real man!' Her definition of being a real man? Firm, macho and fierce. But hey, I'm only enjoying the splendor of being me with my vulnerability and softness. But I do not blame her, I blame the mental conditioning that for eons got us indoctrinated into absurdity....

Humans of Lagos "That two people are fighting or arguing over a thing doesn't mean either of them is right. But often, the self-appointed judges do fail in discerning this. The scenario can be likened to when two politicians or political parties disagree; it's not that either of them is correct. But both of them want to be right. Sadly, the judges here are the electorate. The electorate is ignorant. Blindly wanting to right a wrong from the seabed  of all wrongs. © FERT, 2018

Humans of Lagos "My society is mythologized. Thriving on absurd superstitions. For instance, on the one hand, when a passenger changes his mind about continuing on a journey, he'll be quick to associate it with God's way of keeping him from any negative eventuality that may happen to the car. On the other hand, the remaining passengers will console themselves by saying that perhaps he's a carrier of ill luck that God removed from among them. Although the rate at which accidents occur here due to bad roads and nonchalant driving is alarming, our superstition has nothing to do with prevalence of accidents. So the question is why hasn't our superstition fetched us transformative society?" © FERT, 2018

Humans of Lagos "So a religious scripture says:" Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Here's how I can interpret it: my employer is the person that calls, I'm the laborer, those that I supervise are heaven laden. I have the pseudo-satisfaction, those under me are completely hopeless. It's not my fault, it's the system that fully satisfy my employer, then passes crumbs to me, while the heaven laden remain hopeless. Unfortunately, rest is only in death." © FERT, 2018

Humans of Lagos "I used to believe in Unicorn because as a kid, I was taught that Santa came from heaven. Likewise, the first time I saw a Tortoise, I was eager to see it talk; just as I've been told in folklores. When I arrived Lagos, my thinking was that money littered every street. I was so taught wrong." © FERT, 2018