FERT

Humans of Lagos "Interviewing foetus." The last time I was born in this city, I was welcomed by unkind nurses, fatigued doctor, not so neat a hospital labour ward with no electricity supply. The breeze was even strange, so I had to run away as a still born. My mother conceived me again in the United Arab Emirate when she went on a business cum pleasure trip. I think that I'm lucky, My father is a Norwegian citizen. My mother is trying to secure my future, she will be going to the United State of America to deliver me. I will be a proud US of A citizen. I only hope that I don't get delivered at the Nigerian airport." © FERT, 2015

Humans of Lagos 'Live at the funeral parlour.' "Look at the corpse up above me inside this freezing compartment, he is poorer than me and I don't relate with their kinds.  The stupid morgue attendants here are just insulting my personality by putting the wretched guy above me just like their Road Safety counterparts who cleared the road accident that took my life. Those Road Safety officials stupidly packed me among the coward Yoruba tribes-people corpse, the very people I loathed with passion. But, what can I do now?" © FERT, 2015

Humans of Lagos "I'm not lazy, but I don't believe that hard work will grant success. I live my live, I spend my earnings on food. I don't make savings, I don't believe in it. I don't do fashion, it's too fake for me to admire. I don't have a vehicle, my tommy is too jealous to allow for any rivalry. I don't have a wife nor child, to me, the marriage institution is not meant for everyone. I give to the less-privileged whenever I feel like, the world is so unfair. Many unqualified people are getting what they need because they have the influence, while the qualified languish in hustle. I laugh always, no dull moment. My girlfriend left, when I told her that our friendship won't lead to anywhere. I only hope that when I die, somebody or some people will bury me.  But if I don't get to be buried, that won't be my problem but the environmental problem of those around my carcass vicinity. © FERT, 2015 ...

Humans of Lagos "When we really got fed up with our employer's injustice towards us his employee, we started mobilising ourselves so as to put a stop to it. We held several secret meetings for we couldn't hold such meetings in the open because our boss is an influential figure in the society. We contributed funds that we could get media attention to publicise the horrible conditions under which we worked. We were underpaid, and we're forced to work without health and hazard insurance. However, a traitor among us reported our plans to our boss before we could even execute them. Our boss without wasting time fired the key plotter of the move.  It was when I got sacked that I knew that at times, "half bread is better chin-chin." Some of my colleague that were sacked never recovered financially, but I put the past in the past and started afresh in the power of the now. I'm better now, and I'm happy with my life. Two weeks ago, I read i...

Ìjàpá ọkọ Yáníbo Tortoise the husband of Yáníbo We eat to live, we shouldn't live to eat. As this reminds me of the ancient Yoruba folklore that my grandmother told me about Ìjàpá the husband of Yáníbo. She said, "Yáníbo couldn't conceive, and because of the great importance attached to procreation, Ìjàpá and Yáníbo were greatly disturbed." I know that even till today in our society, women are mostly blamed for not being able to conceive. A very wrong assumption, men are mostly the cause for this anomaly. Granny explained that Ìjàpá consulted a herbalist (Babaláwo) as suggested by his wife, and the man gave him the concoction he had asked his wife Yáníbo to come and collect earlier. 'Don't taste it Ìjàpá, it is solely prepared for your wife,' the herbalist told Ìjàpá.  On his way home, Ìjàpá got enticed by the sweet aroma of the concoction and fell for the temptation. He ate what was not meant for him to taste. And when he got home,...

People on Social Media ZZZ: Hi, I want to know why you unfriend me. Thanks. YYY: Oh I did 'cos you're not adding anything to me. I'm sorry. ZZZ: So why did you do it on my birthday? YYY: The social media birthday notification alerted me of you as one of the celebrants of the day. And when I looked into your account, it's as dry as the Sahara desert. ZZZ: But I do read all of your posts. YYY: I don't know, and I wouldn't have know as well. ZZZ: So you're waiting for me to click like and comment on your posts before you know that I'm following you? YYY: Well not totally that, at least I checked your timeline and I didn't see you post anything not even pictures upload. The last activity on your wall happened over a year ago. ZZZ: I'm always busy, that's why. YYY: Then it will be better you leave the social site for business or busy sites. ZZZ: That's rude of you, isn't it enough that you spoilt my birthday by un...

IMAGINE Seeing a Nollywood movie (horror genre to be specific) last night, then I got to the scene where a Ghost appeared to its alleged killer. The Ghost appeared with an AK-47 gun in her hands, seeking revenge for her murder while alive. The ghost was wrapped in a White wrapper, and her lips shining with a red lip-stick. The Ghost had a sweet feminine voice, Maintained a sexy curvature. I was so carried away with the ghost beauty instead of getting freak out. Suddenly the ghost bowed to the human involuntary action, she coughed! I laughed out so loud that my own voice scared me to the bedroom. I had a wet dream, I had sex with the ghost I saw in my movie. © FERT, 2015