FERT

Human of Lagos "When she appeared in the living room that evening, I took her to the other room. In this room I have my bed. She sat on the edge of the bed, as I got unclad showcasing my round and protruding belly before her. I moved towards her as I'm used to, grabbing her neck with my hands and then thrusting my tongue into her mouth. We kissed longingly, as I gently laid her on the bed. She held on to my third leg pulling and stroking it upward like a solid cucumber. Undressing her was erotical and like a good shepherd, she led me to her erogenous spots. Willingly she spread her legs and then pulled my head to her Bermuda's triangle. My lips sucked at her V. My tongue searched inward for her G-spot while my fingers caressed her nipples. She moaned longingly. She took my P in her mouth with the tip of my shaft gratefully throbbing in the warmth of her tongue. My balls bounced in her soft tendered fingers as she stroked them, giving me quavering delight. My eyes l...

Humans of Lagos "My unforgettable moment of city-life was when my family was in a co-tenancy situation with an old and unmarried religious woman whose denomination believed their living is "deeper". So on this particular day while I was away; she brought two members of the Nigerian Police Force to arrest me. And when the law enforcers didn't see me, she asked that they arrest my wife with our new born. She had paid them a bribe to carry out the arrest! According to her, my offence was that I appeared in her dreams, intercoursing her. Luckily for me, my wife was not arrested. And when I got home and heard about it, I headed to the police station. I gave the police officers money to follow me to arrest a woman who was using my pictures in her masturbation. They arrested her, they collected money to bail her warning her to desist from using my images for masturbation. Now, that's not the end of the story. My wife got angry about the whole issue, she mad...

Humans of Lagos "Little things count. I'm not disciplined, and I know it. I'll plan spending twenty minutes on surfing the web for my assignments, but I'll end up sitting in front of my internet connected computer for hours. I'll surf for the current events and happenings and gist, then migrate to sports, and then finally settles for the strong X-rated content. I get so addicted to the X-rated content that I get exhausted and eventually starts my new days on a weak note. I'm ridiculous like that. © FERT, 2016

Humans of Lagos "I'm sad. I initially associated my unhappiness with my inability to make money, but then money came in - Through Ponzi schemes, real time hustle and with the spirit of not giving up. But my sadness has persisted in spite of my wealth. I turned to sex. Dating and engaging in endless coitus with women of diverse races, yet my sadness was not alleviated. I just succeeded in getting STIs. Then I thought smoking and drinking would fix my unhappiness. I began smoking so much with the illusion of building an atmosphere of joy. I take liquor to stupor with the hope of forgetting the sorrow that wrestles deep inside. I partied very hard to tap into the happiness I think I sensed in others or to drown the rage that is brewing in me for not feeling what I thought they feel. Still, I am hollow. With my money, I can euthanized myself through several painless assisted suicide if I can convince the euthanasia institutions that I have a terminal disease. I should jus...

Humans of Lagos "Back in those days at the college, I used to bedwet. Other students would make jest and mockery of me. And my parents, made me think that something was heinously wrong with me. I got punished time without number for something I did not do willingly. I was traumatised, depressed to the point of considering suicide. My bunk mate, who's a senior student then would pack all her dirty clothes for me to wash, as her way of admonishing me for bedwetting. This is in addition to the incessant beating from my parents like I was an unrepentant thief often caught in the act. It took a supportive and understanding friend of mine to see how normal a being I was. She never rebuked me and she assisted in easing my punishment by offering her help anywhere she could. Caregivers such as my teachers and my hostel coordinator stigmatised me also. They showed no understanding or support. I was by now too nervous and insecure to even see a way out of bedwetting. Adding sal...

Humans of Lagos SHINE YOUR EYE "I'm in this city to make money. I hate it when people wants to exploit me. The company I work for favours women a lot, but that's not my problem. Now these ladies that get higher pay for lesser work want me to be buying foods and snacks for them with my money. Of course, that cannot work. I'm not in Lagos just to count bridges and have nothing to show for my hard work. If it is about working hard with no riches; then my village would have been the best option. In my village, you get older quicker with incessant ploughing and farming with no wealth to show for it. Let these ladies call me a chauvinist, I'm not here for dulling. I promote equity even though they get paid more than me for same work that they are unforgivably lazy at. This is Lagos, if I don't wise up here, there's no other city than will activate my wisdom." © FERT, 2016

I'm dumping Atheism. I am going religion. See, I'm tired of strippers stopping me from touching their butts just because I have no God to fear. While my friends that profess God get down with them. It's not cool getting ostracised by the faithful who goes clubbing and drinking liquor to stupor. You'll not understand the pain of an atheist whose co-workers shared loots without extending to him because it is God's doing and marvellous in the eyes of His beloved. It can be very annoying when your fellow students chase you out of an examination malpractice intent just because they believe that you'll bring bad-luck upon their plans. I am flipping side to testify to the glory of the Lord that maketh all these possible. The gods are partial and favouritism of grace and forgiveness is their forte. So I am switching camp. Let there be light! © FERT, 2016