FERT

Humans of Lagos "As a self taught web designer, I referred a lady that complained of being horny and doesn't want to have sex to check a website for remedy to her predicament. She couldn't believe my utterance, but I was so sure that she would find solutions on the Internet. In this age, solutions to our daily challenges are readily available within our reach. However, we get carried away with social media that we have limited the capability of the world wide web. I studied accountancy,  but when my love for the ICT grew so much, I learnt more stuff via the Internet.  Now I am sharing this knowledge with her. Now like me, she knows how to cope with being horny. Through the Internet, self-help lessons are within reach." © FERT, 2016

Humans of Lagos "So I've now confirmed the wise saying that you shouldn't wait for people validation of you. I have this man,  who by design happens to be my boss at work. I took my work to him to vet, but he ended up destroying my confidence. He did not do a constructive criticism of my work, but sold to me few of his poorly articulated prose which he expected me to glorify. Just because he's a boss. I gave him a free copy of my book,  yet he did not read it. He's comfortable with reading the works of celebrity writers than I who he considered to be a nobody. I questioned my ability, I wondered if I'm actually made for what I believe in, I was depressed and thought of shifting my focus. However,  my saving grace came when he received a link from one of his celebrity writers asking him to read the piece in the link. My boss loved the article, he talked so much about it and shared it with us his junior staff members. And this article is my own write u...

Humans of Lagos "I'm on my way to the funeral party of my neighbour's mother. She died at a tender age, after undergoing excruciating pain of a terminal illness for many months. May her soul rest in piece. I paused eating since last night since I know that today is the funeral ceremony. The culture here is that it's always funfare during funerals. My neighbor is owing me sum amount of money and I know that she will never be able pay back, because she has exhausted all her money on her now deceased mother sickness. Well, I'll grace the ceremony, stretch the elasticity of my stomach and eat as much food I can consume at the funeral party to compensate for my monetary loss. I need to balance things." © FERT, 2016

Humans of Lagos. "I'm a man of principle. I plan my life, rolling out my visions and missions to bring them into life. During my undergraduate days, I targeted the grade I wish to finish with and I accomplished it. First class no doubt! I secured a great job in the midst of scarcity because I set my bar high. However, I lost my vision into the job. Too demanding a job with no happiness to show for it. My best is not always enough for my employer, and I now question how I did it in the university. Where has my determination gone? How do I become this neurotic? Perhaps, someday, I'll be bold enough to resign from the job and then follow my dream, which I need to remember what it was to begin with." © FERT, 2016

Human of Lagos "When she appeared in the living room that evening, I took her to the other room. In this room I have my bed. She sat on the edge of the bed, as I got unclad showcasing my round and protruding belly before her. I moved towards her as I'm used to, grabbing her neck with my hands and then thrusting my tongue into her mouth. We kissed longingly, as I gently laid her on the bed. She held on to my third leg pulling and stroking it upward like a solid cucumber. Undressing her was erotical and like a good shepherd, she led me to her erogenous spots. Willingly she spread her legs and then pulled my head to her Bermuda's triangle. My lips sucked at her V. My tongue searched inward for her G-spot while my fingers caressed her nipples. She moaned longingly. She took my P in her mouth with the tip of my shaft gratefully throbbing in the warmth of her tongue. My balls bounced in her soft tendered fingers as she stroked them, giving me quavering delight. My eyes l...

Humans of Lagos "My unforgettable moment of city-life was when my family was in a co-tenancy situation with an old and unmarried religious woman whose denomination believed their living is "deeper". So on this particular day while I was away; she brought two members of the Nigerian Police Force to arrest me. And when the law enforcers didn't see me, she asked that they arrest my wife with our new born. She had paid them a bribe to carry out the arrest! According to her, my offence was that I appeared in her dreams, intercoursing her. Luckily for me, my wife was not arrested. And when I got home and heard about it, I headed to the police station. I gave the police officers money to follow me to arrest a woman who was using my pictures in her masturbation. They arrested her, they collected money to bail her warning her to desist from using my images for masturbation. Now, that's not the end of the story. My wife got angry about the whole issue, she mad...

Humans of Lagos "Little things count. I'm not disciplined, and I know it. I'll plan spending twenty minutes on surfing the web for my assignments, but I'll end up sitting in front of my internet connected computer for hours. I'll surf for the current events and happenings and gist, then migrate to sports, and then finally settles for the strong X-rated content. I get so addicted to the X-rated content that I get exhausted and eventually starts my new days on a weak note. I'm ridiculous like that. © FERT, 2016

Humans of Lagos "I'm sad. I initially associated my unhappiness with my inability to make money, but then money came in - Through Ponzi schemes, real time hustle and with the spirit of not giving up. But my sadness has persisted in spite of my wealth. I turned to sex. Dating and engaging in endless coitus with women of diverse races, yet my sadness was not alleviated. I just succeeded in getting STIs. Then I thought smoking and drinking would fix my unhappiness. I began smoking so much with the illusion of building an atmosphere of joy. I take liquor to stupor with the hope of forgetting the sorrow that wrestles deep inside. I partied very hard to tap into the happiness I think I sensed in others or to drown the rage that is brewing in me for not feeling what I thought they feel. Still, I am hollow. With my money, I can euthanized myself through several painless assisted suicide if I can convince the euthanasia institutions that I have a terminal disease. I should jus...

Humans of Lagos "Back in those days at the college, I used to bedwet. Other students would make jest and mockery of me. And my parents, made me think that something was heinously wrong with me. I got punished time without number for something I did not do willingly. I was traumatised, depressed to the point of considering suicide. My bunk mate, who's a senior student then would pack all her dirty clothes for me to wash, as her way of admonishing me for bedwetting. This is in addition to the incessant beating from my parents like I was an unrepentant thief often caught in the act. It took a supportive and understanding friend of mine to see how normal a being I was. She never rebuked me and she assisted in easing my punishment by offering her help anywhere she could. Caregivers such as my teachers and my hostel coordinator stigmatised me also. They showed no understanding or support. I was by now too nervous and insecure to even see a way out of bedwetting. Adding sal...

Humans of Lagos SHINE YOUR EYE "I'm in this city to make money. I hate it when people wants to exploit me. The company I work for favours women a lot, but that's not my problem. Now these ladies that get higher pay for lesser work want me to be buying foods and snacks for them with my money. Of course, that cannot work. I'm not in Lagos just to count bridges and have nothing to show for my hard work. If it is about working hard with no riches; then my village would have been the best option. In my village, you get older quicker with incessant ploughing and farming with no wealth to show for it. Let these ladies call me a chauvinist, I'm not here for dulling. I promote equity even though they get paid more than me for same work that they are unforgivably lazy at. This is Lagos, if I don't wise up here, there's no other city than will activate my wisdom." © FERT, 2016

I'm dumping Atheism. I am going religion. See, I'm tired of strippers stopping me from touching their butts just because I have no God to fear. While my friends that profess God get down with them. It's not cool getting ostracised by the faithful who goes clubbing and drinking liquor to stupor. You'll not understand the pain of an atheist whose co-workers shared loots without extending to him because it is God's doing and marvellous in the eyes of His beloved. It can be very annoying when your fellow students chase you out of an examination malpractice intent just because they believe that you'll bring bad-luck upon their plans. I am flipping side to testify to the glory of the Lord that maketh all these possible. The gods are partial and favouritism of grace and forgiveness is their forte. So I am switching camp. Let there be light! © FERT, 2016

FICTION. A woman had an auto crash . She split into two from waist down as a result of heavy impact from the accident. She sustained internal bleeding and was on the verge of dying. Christian arrived the scene of the accident and wept. Christian told the woman to confess Christ as her Lord and personal saviour so that she could make heaven when she's dead. Muslim argued that this accident victim need to convert to Islam before she breathe her last. Muslim and Christian fought, this woman writhed in pain. She might die. So a team of medical professionals arrived the scene, carried the woman... Today, the woman is still available enjoying life, worrying less about after-life neither is she bothered about about her pre-life. Yet the Muslim and the Christian afterlife competition and fighting continues till date. © FERT, 2016

Humans of Lagos "On the night of her grandmother's funeral, she invited me to pass the night with her in the room. I remember how she was there for me when my girlfriend left me. She; Stayed with me, Consoled me, Kept my company, but refused to have sex with me. She didn't oblige to my ploy to satisfy my sexual longing at that moment. She friend-zoned me. So on the night of her departed Granny's funeral, I concluded that she's on heat and wanted to get laid. After all, we were both inebriated after too much drinking. I made up my mind to starve her, I wanted her to feel what I felt when I was horny in those days. I entered the room, laid on the bed stark naked. She emerged from bathroom wearing only her sexy nighty. I pitied her. We slept off. But around 1am, I felt cold from within. I had no choice but to cuddled her, and she responded. Yet I remained resolute to my decision. Few minutes later, I pouted near her lips and she kissed back. I wanted...

Human of Lagos "My paternal grandma accused her of infidelity, and pinned it as the cause of her ailment. The pastor came and entered her room. He said a little prayer and then pronounced her to be possessed with demons. My father, her husband of 16 years; who she severally forgave of adultery proudly boasted of his family guidance god catching up on his unfaithful wife. Omowunmi my dear mother became the talk of the street. My mother after giving birth to me 14 years ago decided to end childbearing. However, my father's relative prevailed upon her to produce a male child - the heir apparent. She didn't take them serious initially, but later agreed when the pressure mounted. Her pregnancy wasn't an easy one. And when she delivered my baby brother, she became sick. She started hallucinating and talking to the air. But our pastor assured us that all was well with her. And later, she started behaving strangely to her own baby. So one day, she killed my bro...

The coach convinced the team's supporters that Morgan Bahuri is the only striker that could help the football team to victory. Coach stated; "Bahuri can score a goal from the centre half, he uses both leg and he's very swift like El Nino, the ocean's natural phenomenon. He's simply unstoppable." The spectators paid extra gate fees just because they wanted to see Bahuri demolish his opponent. "Bahuri is the surest and a saviour." The supporters assured themselves. It's show time, Bahuri with his teammates entered the field of play gallantly like a mosquito that is attracted by Carbondioxide gas. And then the match began. The opponent appeared to have a solid defense, but with Bahuri, everybody expected humiliation. Few minutes into the play, Bahuri complained to the Referee that the opponent's defenders' muscles were rock solid. So the referee ordered that they should be substituted with measly defenders. Impossibility is nothing...

Humans of Lagos "I was molested by my mom's housemaid before I clocked 10. She enjoyed it but I was indifferent. However, this incident aroused my libido even before I reached the semen producing age known as puberty. And at the age of 14, I was again molested by my big sister's friend. On that day, she tenderly unruffled my hair, rolled her finger from my eyelids to my soft lips. She whispered sexiness in my ear. Sweet dirty words that gave me a hard-on. And then asked me to lie beside her on the bed. I did. I became restless; I pulled her flowing red gown up to her waist, then I exposed her thighs and lay the gown aside. I rolled her sparkling white pant down on to the mattress. She parted her hips to give me access into her... I entered her missionary style, and felt her wet lips on mine. she kissed me passionately. Thrusting and moving furiously in unison, she vibrated and moaned and I shook with so much charged energy. I stroked her tits, slapped her buttocks a...

Humans of Lagos "So as a celebrity, how are you coping with your loyal fans?" "The truth is that I'm my own fan. I am my star and we all are celebrities. I am hardly moved by people flocking after just because they consider me a celebrity. Let me give you this instance; before I started singing, when I was just a Graphic Designer, I followed my musician friend to a television show. I wasn't reckoned with then, none of the TV crew members deemed it fit to take a picture with me, I was neglected. But few weeks ago, I visited the same station now as a celebrated singer, the same people who relegated me were struggling to take pictures with me. I will never get carried away, I'll remain truthful to myself. © FERT, 2016

VANITY? My father was the late rich business tycoon of the Cocoa industry, he had many mansions throughout the world with beautiful wives chosen from different ethnicity and then blessed with plenteous children. As a caring father, he gave all his children the best education money could get and opportunities to explore our worlds. We are forever grateful and proud of him. He was a true Nationalist and a devouted philanthropist. When he died, the world momentarily stopped to honour the opulent man. We buried him in a golden casket, and decorated his graveyard with diamond and gold, right in his hometown. All in remembrance of a righteous business man. Years rolled by, the economy of the country forced many of my siblings to travel out of the country; yes I left the country as well but came back and was gainfully employed into politics. I am a NIGERIAN POLITICIAN by profession, career and calling; what a far more rewarding job to get employed into. The last time I visited m...

DISCIPLINE I was there at his birth, when the midwives shouted at his mother who was groaning in the pains of child delivery labour. The nurses were not any nice. I heard it loud and clear when one of nurses asked the poor woman to keep quiet simply because she was not there when she was enjoying the sexual intercourse with her husband that resulted into what she was suffering from at the moment; what a bad woman. On his safe arrival on planet Earth, Nigeria to be precise; the nurses slapped his innocent buttocks for not crying aloud to announce his arrival. Then his mother took over the beatings; she would slap his cheeks, give him a knock on his head and then kick his bom-bom. She would force this growing baby to eat by blocking his nose, locking his hips in her laps then open his mouth to force the fluid in. His daddy was not left out of the discipline-process, as he was fond of giving the kid twenty-four strokes of the cane on his right hand. His teacher was an expert at ...

Okay people,  my own bad news here... I'm down with catarrh. I've been treating it though, but I'm now inside an air conditioned studio. My eyes are almost popping up, My nostrils are running far away from me, My voice is scarier than the sound of hell, My teeth are as weak as the faeces of a vegan, And my head is thrice as heavier than the cross of Jesus. I'm in a very bad shape now, yet no news is talking about me. I AM SUFFERING FROM CATARRH © FERT, 2016

Suicide Note. By the time you are reading this letter, I'd be confirmed dead. I love sex, and I don't hide it. Eighty percent of my income goes directly into satisfying my sexual appetites. My friend, Sandra, not my girlfriend but my sex mate used to be there for me four years ago. I'd teach her Mathematics in exchange for sex, before she relocated out of town. I lost my job late last year, so I moved to the bigger city in search for a greener pasture. I learned to abstain from sex, and focused on getting my bearing right. I've lived without sex for months in my new city, and then I met Sandra again. Sandra is now more beautiful than before. We met inside a commercial bus. She shouted my name, we hugged and kissed. Later, she gave me the address to her place. I refused to visit her initially. My new principle; "you don't make love when you're broke," was my guide. But upon her insistence for a visit, we agreed to meet on a public holiday...

Human of Lagos "I normally admire her, her asset, the curvaceous boobs that are so tempting to be fondled gently. I complemented her firm breast once on WhatsApp, but she opened up to me that her breast is actually flat. She said that she does use push up braziers, so her breasts appear deceptfully firm. I was so shocked that I blocked her afterwards, she's deceitful. Guess what? After few months, I'm now searching for her. I now value her sincerity. After all, I have potbelly as against 6-pack that ladies always want. I accept, inner beauty matters most, sincerity is an inner beauty. I must get her again." ©FERT, 2016

"My mother married at a tender age. She got wedded to my wealthy father after she finished from the college at the age of seventeen. My father took care of her; she was as fresh as a daisy, and her skin was very cool like the morning dew. I lacked no good thing, and I was grateful for the happiness I was enjoying. One day, the ex-boyfriend of my mother while she was at the college visited her in my father's house. My father got to know about the visitation, and he got angry at his wife. He sent my mother out of his house, without him retaining me. That's how my enjoyment changed to endurance. In my innocent was I born, but I'm now suffering for the sin that I didn't committ. Life is funny and unfair." © FERT, 2016

Humans of Lagos "OMG, the rats in this city are very unruly, they move around without fear or regards for humans.  Last week when I was making out with my ex-husband at a corner one night, three rats, right in front of us were engaging in threesome. I mean, I can't just imagine such audacity. Where I came from, rats hideaway from humans, they don't compete with us. This is indeed Lagos." © FERT, 2016

Humans of Lagos "This teaching; "blessed are the meek, and the peacemakers for theirs is the kingdom of heaven," is the teaching that raises obedient children as baits for this blame trading society. I was raised to adopt the teaching, so I became the trash bin for my fellow humans that are always happy to put the blame on others. "I am sorry," the sentence I was dogmatically trained to be uttering all the time was the sentence that made me internalise several junks that I ought to trash out. I say; "I'm sorry," all the time even when I'm right.  My adopted sister once counselled me about not saying it whenever I do no wrong. However, I couldn't change. I get sad when I'm right but I still say those lines to make others happy and avoid quarrel. Yet the other party still act as if I was actually right to be sorry. So one day, I changed. On a Friday evening, I entered into the front seat of a commercial bus. When I closed the passe...

First of all, as a matter of succinct Introduction, I AM MAN.  I am a man; the strength of his father, and the lord over his mother. The pride of the family. I am the heir apparent to a very great but confused kingdom.  I am a Man and I am a very superior being. I can marry many wives, and do as I want with them. My wife, I repeat, my wife cannot wear my crown. I am regal and powerful. Very powerful.  But one day, I became overly depressed that I committed suicide. I appeared at the seat of judgement, and the angel asked why I deleted myself from earthly existence.  "My pride, I'm the man. I reserved the right to sleep with as many women that I want to. I ought to be the one to gloat in my sexual escapades. but I met a lady, the shameless girl went about telling men and women about how poor I was on the bed. She bragged about how I nearly passed on to beyond when she was giving me a blow job just like Félix François Faure the French presiden...

You came confessing to me that you've got a spirit husband. You told me that the heavenly husband do discourage potential earthly suitors from staying on to love you. "He'll always appear to them in their dreams to dissuade and threaten them from keeping a relationship with me." You lamented. I implored you to calm down. I assured you that spirit husbands cannot interfere in earthly romance. So like the sacrificial lamb, I offered myself for a controlled experimental relationship; just to show that spirit husband ought not to influence earthly affair. Six hundred and sixty-six (666) times we made love. On the couch, quickies at the beach, in the trunk, in the wood, at the kitchen; awesome sex we had. Yet, I saw no spirit husband in the dream or anywhere else. Now with regret I announced that the experiment is over. After all, we've now established that spirit husband is just a strong and oppressive masturbation. I need to move on. However, you...

Humans of Lagos "My neighbour; a single mother of five from Togo sells food. All her children are in their various schools studying. She brought six young girls from Togo to be helping her food business. Most of these maids are younger than her children, yet none of them is in the school. They all are busy, busy working hard from dawn till dusk serving their mistress, my housemate. These maids often get maltreated, and I don't know the bright future that awaits them. However, my neighbour, the shrewd business woman do publicly flaunt her displeasure at gays adopting children. Her argument; "How can people who will not give birth be able to take care of other peoples children!" What an irony, but that's how it's done here. Our thinking, our judgement." © FERT, 2016

I was at the strip club hanging out with my friends, when we started talking about the religious leaders. My friends talked about clergymen excesses and love for vain things thereby derailing people from god. So a man got up in anger, he threw the bottle of his liquor on the ground and then said: "what moral justification have you to insult clergymen? Are you supposed to be at the strip club drinking liquor in the first instance? I'm a pastor of more than 50, 000 spectators sorry congregations, so stop abusing men of god. We are all sinners!" After his rants, we changed the topic to football. © FERT, 2016

My problems got so much on me, and then I thought of ending it. However, I decided to visit a White garment church before bidding the world farewell. At the entrance of the church, I was asked to put off my shoe for I was at a holy place. And I did. After my consultation with the priest, and on my getting to the entrance gate of the temple, I found my shoe missing at the holy ground. So a holy voice said unto me; "you've got no problem really; after all your shoe is expensive enough to be stolen. And then I went home and live happily ever after. © FERT, 2016

You came to me complaining about you being pregnant.  You told me that you're not ready to be an active mother, even when you're now sexually active. You wanted an abortion. And as a good man that I am, I volunteered to follow you to an expert at D&C even when I'm not responsible for the pregnancy. It was successful.  You, the Doctor and I were happy about it. I took my niceness to another level by getting you beverages. You thanked me.  I called you every morning to know how you were doing. 'Fine', you replied. Then you complained. Though you acknowledge my kindness, yet you wished that I added something to it. You wished that I'm god fearing! So I asked if you're actually god fearing. 'Yes.' That was what you said. Now I fear you more than the god! © FERT, 2016

11:55am Monday Morning. I entered a banking hall. Filled to the capacity, and the banking hall air conditioners, gave way for oozing body odours emanating from customers that have stood enough to win special prize for standing. Bank officials appeared helpless, they complained about lost of network signal. One woman, a pregnant woman sat on the only seat that's made available for customers.  Then from the entrance to the banking hall I heard: "Good morning sir, welcome to ABC Bank." It sounded like that shout that one do hear from the prayer warriors of these special vigils. And then the atmosphere changed, every tired customer brimmed with excitement, two of the bank officials rushed to greet the arrival of the important guest. Both customers and the bank staff were happy, we were happy to have an "Oyinbo" (White man) in our midst. A young, slim but well endowed with big hips, ebony black, tall, beautiful lady volunteered to fan "Oyinbo,...

Lucas is asexual, he's never had sex in his entire 42 years of living. He's foolishly touring the world, without thinking of settling down to raise a family. He's financially able to marry 4 wives, yet the dumb guy will not just think about it. He's a disgrace to manhood, I mean, how can a child be given birth to, yyet will not think of procreating? I'm looking for willing people that we may go and lynch the fool. He's trying to disrupt nature's balance. Note: ASEXUALITY is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone. Low or absent in sexual activity. HOMOSEXUALITY is an enduring pattern of emotional, romantic and or sexual attraction to people of the same sex. HETEROSEXUALITY is a romantic or sexual attraction prson of the opposite sex or gender. © FERT, 2016

"These days inside the church, the way people lie there, satan is even surprised. Imagine a member of congregation testifying, he said; "...immediately the rain started, the holy spirit told me that there would be no electricity for six days. And it was so." Haba, are we not in Nigeria? Do I need holy spirit to foretell situations like this. I was very angry at the testifier that I threw the bottle of spirit in my pocket at him right on the pulpit. However, the ushers carried me out of the church, but removed the offering in my pocket before finally doing so. © FERT, 2016

Three Sundays ago, when the noise was too much for me to bear; I entered into one of the places where the noise was emanating from, a mosque. I joined them, I introduced myself as Michael who's willing to convert to Islam. And they were very happy with me. They gave me food. Two Sundays back, I entered another house with loud speakers - church. I introduced myself as Mikhail, and they were very happy to have converted a soul. They also gave me food. So last week Sunday, I discovered a cool spot. A nice strip club with enough entertainment. I enjoyed myself. So today, both members of the Church and Mosque are angry that I will not join them again. © FERT, 2016

Humans of Lagos "I lost it, and I lost the reason to live. Suicidal thoughts filled my heart like an inflated ballon. I cut myself away from everyone. And in my loneliness, depression became my strongest companion. So on a particular day, I dropped my suicide note on the table in my room. And then climbed up to one of the skyscrapers in my area on a mission to end it all. My heart pumped like the eruption of a molten magma, however, my mind was as strong as the igneous rock; no going back. From above, I looked below. I saw moving vehicles and people going about with their activities. I closed my eyes, then join the air like the saints obeying the end time rapture. Only that in this my own case, I was descending to be no more. Almost immediately after stepping off the height, regrets filled my soul. Why did I have to do this. What shame have I bring upon myself by doing this. What will become of my family. How will they cope with the everlasting shame, I've put them int...

Humans of Lagos "I don't think that we can ever stop being religious in this city. When you're almost late for work, and you hurriedly hopped into a commercial bus. After settling down on your seat, you start perceiving the smell of petrol. You look back, and there's the plastic keg filled with petrol that sits comfortably on the bus engine. You tell your co-passengers about the danger in the bus, buy they say; "God will not allow it to explode." You lodge complain to the bus conductor, but he gives story of endless fuel scarcity that motorists are facing. You shout at the driver not to risk passengers lives, but he asks you to alight from his vehicle if you're not ready to enjoy the ride like that. You check your time, you're almost late for work. You check your pocket, you don't have any money to risk entering another bus. Now, your fellow passengers see you as a troublesome being. All you can do now is to risk your life in the death trappe...

Humans of Lagos "I learnt one of the important lessons to living just last week. I met with this young and respectful guy on a queue at the Automated Teller Machine (ATM) centre. We chatted briefly as the rain couldn't allow us move out of the shelter around the ATM centre. When the rain subsided, we moved out together since our journey was on the same course. And then we encountered a mild flood on our way which we had to cross. I rolled up my trouser, put my shoes in my hands; then entered the flood with the hope that I will be fine.  However, this new friend of mine begged a motorist to help him cross the flood in his vehicle. And the man did. When we reunited, my friend told me that I must learn to ask for help. It then occurred to me that I got stained from the flood water. In all my years of living on Earth, I struggle on my own. Perhaps that's why life appears to be hard on me. Asking for help is not a shame." © FERT, 2016

Humans of Lagos "At the last Lagos marathon race, I passed out. I was at the hospital for three days. I am lucky to be alive. Prior to the race, everything in me convinced me that I could do it. I was more enticed by the money. I believed in myself, but that wasn't enough. I was able to speak with the eventual winner, he told me about his dedication towards the race. He explained to me about the endurance training he undergoes constantly to be fit to run the race. Then I knew that I didn't even worth stepping out to dare the race. Yes, the winner is human like me. He believed in himself, but to his belief he added work. I had the believe but didn't build myself to be fit for the race. I know my failure now, I'll be back." © FERT, 2016

"My name is Innocent. I'm an Electricity generator repairer. Last year, my business collapsed. People mocked me, and I almost became a beggar. They said 'President's Body Language' was responsible for my woes. I was advised to return to my village, as I'll be forever useless with my profession. So; I went on my kneels as if to fellate, Spread my hands into the air like a damsel whose breasts are being fondled by a drug baron, Then screamed like a virgin who is unfortunate to meet a pornstar, And then spoke in tongues like a climaxed babe. I reminded God about his words: 'whatever I lay my hands upon must prosper.' Today, I'm a happy man. The Lord blessed me again. I now travel around the country repairing electricity generators. Even now that there's petrol scarcity, people with diesel powered electricity generator will not let me rest. Those who mocked me are now worshipping me. I disappoint customers with pride these days, ...

Humans of Lagos "I was psychologically disturbed, emotionally down so I dropped out of the university. I couldn't tell my parents, so I stayed back in the campus pretending to be a student. Friends in school mocked me, no one came to sympathized with me. None ever tried to understand what was going through my mind. Years after, I disguised as a graduate. I entered the labour with a forged university certificate. I got a good job, but while at the work I discovered myself. I discovered that I love to give care to the aged. So I resigned from my job after spending just few months. I relocated to a village and started helping the old ones considered to be witches and wizards. They're abandoned, but I took it upon myself to help them. An NGO discovered me in the village, and they made me their ambassador. Last week, I graduated from the University with a first class degree in Psychology. I have a disturbing experience in the past that strengthen me to care for ot...

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This is Ahmed Ahmed is a womanizer. But he is not interested in sleeping with virgins afterlife. So he is busy scouting for willing girls to have sex with on Earth. He's slept with 53 girls already. Ahmed will not go on any suicide bombing mission. Be like Ahmed. © FERT, 2016

Humans of Lagos "There's a building in my area, it's quite a big edifice.  It was initially constructed for residential purpose, but when the owner of the house died, it started its seemingly ending transformation.  It was converted to a supermarket, and afterwards renovated to become a worship centre, it then changed to a Hair Saloon and now a Crèche.  Unending transformation indeed.  I think that's how humans get to change when focus is lost." © FERT, 2016

INTERVIEWER: Your excellency sir, the people of the state are carrying a rumour that you're busy acquiring landed properties within the state. GOVERNOR: You see Edward Awilo, the people of Nigeria, this state citizens especially are very difficult to govern. When I was busy buying choice properties in Dubai, USA, UK and LEBANON and the holy lands in Saudi Arabia and Israel, they were all saying that I'm taking the state's money to foreign land. Now that I'm buying properties in the state, they will not stop complaining. INTERVIEWER: Sir, is it true that you're constructing roads that lead to your property sites? Mr. Governor, the people of your state are alleging that you are busy buying companies, houses and landed property. What do you have to say? GOVERNOR: Wait Edward, am I the only person that will walk on the constructed roads? In these companies, won't I recruit youths to work there? If I steal, Edward, if I steal, am I going to spend th...

Some Nigerians, instead of; Staying faithful to their partners, Patronising commercial sex workers, Masturbate, Or, Practicing abstinence, They are busy ordering foreign dildos. This is the reason behind Nigerian currency incessant fall to the USA Dollars. If you're among those that are into this act, forget heaven. The blackout in your hell section will be like that of Nigerian cities without electricity. Our President is trying to make 1naira to equal 1US Dollar, but you are busy sabotaging his effort all because of your sexual appetite. © FERT, 2016

Humans of Lagos "I am an actor and a movie director. People expects too much from me, but I only give my best without competing with others. I strife only to break my personal records. I live my life as normal as I can, every human is a celebrity. Many have confronted me, they queried as to why I am not buying any automobile. Really, do I need it? © FERT, 2016

Humans of Lagos. "I'm on my way out of the city of Lagos. It's been good and bad, now I say goodbye to the city that accommodated me for over four decades. Twice was I married, yet they all crashed. I initially blamed my first wife for not being an understanding woma n, but my relationship with second wife made me realized that I'm a sociopath. I'm manipulative and conning, a pathological liar, never remorseful, lacking shame nor guilt, having shallow emotions and Incapable to love. I don't know how I grew up to becoming what I grew up to be, but I accept now that I'm Sociopath.  Maybe I'm not meant to live among normal humans, so I'm moving into the woods to live in solitude. But are there normal humans, free of drama? ©FERT, 2016

*A good Aunt will not visit his little niece's place with latex in her handbag.  *A conscious Uncle will delete X-Rated materials on his phone before handing it over to his nephew. *A Devoted Muslim must never go to the Mosque with his phone that is loaded with X-Rated material. *A Christian saint will have two different memory cards for his phone, one memory card for bible application and the other for Earthly Apps. © FERT, 2016

*Between 1914 and 1918 around sixty-five million (65, 000, 000) humans were killed during the first world war. *Spanish influenza of 1918, killed almost one hundred million humans. *Around eighty-five million (85, 000, 000) people died in the second world war between the years 1939 through 1945. *Between 1949 and 1976, almost seventy-eight million (78, 000, 000) people died during General Mao Zedong Cultural revolution in China. ...In all these terrible genocides, the world didn't come to any end; life goes on. New World Order didn't just start today, it has been since the very time modern humans evolved. Remember; Alexander the Great, Adolf Hitler And other warriors seeking to dominate the world in those day. Okay, Ebola outbreak, ISIL, Boko Haram terrorism and USA-NATO face off with Russia showing signs of end times? You may be wrong... ...Disease is for the profit of the Pharmaceutical industry, and War is for the profit of Banks and Armours manufacturers. ...

In the olden days, then in the ancient town of Osara, whenever the people of the town wanted to celebrate their annual Egungun (Masquerade) Festival; it is a culture that the masquerade must visit the king. This visitation is known as the Ritual of Blessing. During this ritual of blessing process, the masquerade must thoroughly beat the king blue-black with a thick horse-whip as the king releases blessings in the pain upon the town. But nowadays in this same town, whenever it is few days before this Egungun Festival, the king coincidentally do fall sick and he is always flown to the United States America for treatment. So he is always absent from the ritual of blessing. Only the gods knows why the kings of these days do fall sick days before the festivity. Maybe culture must learn to evolve, else it will go into extinction.  © FERT, 2015